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You have new messages!!

by Lori

ring, ring. ring, ring. ring, ring.

beeeeeeep.

Source.

baldwin.jpg

Hello? Hello? Alec? Hello? C’mon Alec, pick up! I know you must be home, it’s 3AM! C’mon! Alec! Look, I know you said not to call you anymore, but Billy and Steve won’t pick up either. I need you to come pick me up. I’m in …. Detroit? I think? Yeah, Detroit. I heard something from my lawyer about a “warrant” but I don’t think that he was talking about the rock group, ha ha! Alec? C’mon, pick up. I need a ride.

Okay, so I did take the car. But I didn’t steal it! I just borrowed it for a little while. I had to, you know, um, return some movies to Blockbuster. In Detroit! Yeah! I think. You know how those late fees can add up, too, epecially since you won’t help me out with them. I know that’s your voiceover on the commercials, bro. And I have a $78 late fee on Hero.

Look, I know you are wildly successful and incredibly funny on your new show 30 Rock and that you have your own problems with crazy exes, but c’mon, help me out. I’m your brother. Please? Pick me up? I’m at Burger King Express. I think. Thanks, bro. Please?

Oh, and when you come pick me up, please bring a bottle of Jack Daniels, a bag of oranges, and a plunger. Thanks.

Click.

ring, ring.

beeeeep.

Oh, one more thing, brother. Did you talk to Tina Fey like I asked you to? Dude, I know she’s married and all, but if she’d just get to know me, I know it could work out. Please, dude, just give her my number.


Posted in Drunkyness on February 8th, 2007

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Celebrities aren’t perfect. In fact most times they’re drunken douche bags that say, do and perpetuate idiocy. Every so often (or everyday) some take anti-logic to a whole new level and Trashy Celebs is there to document it. Join us Monday through Friday for the realest celebrity gossip we’ve made up and you just might learn something about yourself.

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