Will Create Snarky Commentary for Plastic Surgery and Microphones
In an effort to make television slightly less screechy, the TV Guide Channel has finally ripped up that contract with the devil relieved Joan Rivers and her daughter, Melissa Rivers, from their jobs as hosts of every red carpet broadcast ever shown on television in the history of the world. They will be replaced by Lisa Rinna, a.k.a., Mrs. Harry Hamlin, who apparently impressed the TV Guide Channel executives with her weeks-long audition tape from her stint on ABC’s Dancing With the Stars.
The official reason for the Rivers’ ouster was not revealed by TV Guide Channel (perhaps Lisa Rinna signed her own contract with the dark lord). However, to anyone who has ever watched them on the red carpet, an official reason wasn’t really required
Besides, how badly do you have to screw up to be fired from the TV Guide channel? The channel that people basically go to just long enough …. to see what’s on the other channels?
This is Melissa’s chance to finally lead a regular life like regular people, getting a job at Bravo or the Home and Garden Network or even at Starbucks, but I think it’s too late for her mother. I fear that someday soon we will learn that Joan has painted her driveway red and has begun spending her days popping out from behind her car with a hairbrush “microphone,” screaming “WHO ARE YOU WEARING?” at mail carriers, garbage collectors, and the UPS guy.
Joan Rivers, Melissa Rivers, TV Guide, Lisa Rinna, Dancing With the Stars, red carpet
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