Trashy Celebs

Come Monday, talk-show host and queen of polite ha-ha Ellen Degeneres has a line of greeting cards coming to a drugstore near you. In a partnership with American Greetings you’ll be able to purchase 32 cards carrying Degeneres’s unique brand of nervous chatterish insight.

“I look at having a line of cards as another extension of being a host; helping you wish your loved ones well, piggybacking on your birthday greetings,” the comedian said in a statement. “I like to be up in the middle of everything, and doing it this way is much easier than crashing parties.”

A sneak peak at some of the cards displays Ellen’s brand of with that made The Ellen Degeneres Show such a hit.

Anniversary - Roses are red violets are blue…well they’re actually more of a fuchsia don’t you think? Fuchsia, heh, that reminds me I promised to paint my grandma’s kitchen one time and she said ‘get fuchsia’ and I said I don’t know what that is and she said ‘it’s kind of like violet’ and I thought she said ‘violence’ so I got red.

Encouragement - I think you’re neat, so who cares what digit the UPS driver flashed after you cut him off. You know who should be cut off? Lindsay Lohan at an open bar. Am I too late with that one? Who cares my girlfriend is hot.

Flag Day - Hey it’s flag day, who knew there was such a thing? I’ll tell ya who - Flags.

Birthday - Birthdays are a really great time to reflect on who you are and what you’ve done with your life. That reminds me of a really great quote from Eleanor Roosevelt. I’ll be she had a lot of birthdays. But not much time to reflect being a first lady and all. Which makes you wonder when she had time to come up with such a great quote. Although there wasn’t Tivo back then so people had a lot more time to spare. You ever watch your Tivo too long then suddenly go outside and see a bird and think to yourself now was that an Oriole or a Robin? And then you go to rewind it but then you remember you can’t rewind real life? Ahhh, funny, funny stuff.

Ellen DeGeneres, American Greetings, greeting cards, Lindsay Lohan, Eleanor Roosevelt, Tivo