Trashy Celebs

But who doesn’t love making fun of the Feldman, man? No one, that is who. Everyone likes making fun of the Feldman, including the late Mother Teresa, the Dalai Lama, the entire internet, my grandma, and Feldman’s grandma. Everyone! And god bless him, the Feldman just keeps giving us more and more reasons to make fun of him, starting with his “comeback” on the first (and best) season of The Surreal Life that included his ridiculous wedding and on to the trainwreck show The Two Coreys which I admit, I am watching as I type this. And just to give you a little something from this show right now ….. Feldman is driving around L.A. at night with his sunglasses on, looking like a big moron. I won’t go any farther, because I don’t want this to become some sort of weird liveblog of a Two Coreys rerun.

VANITY THOU ART FELDMAN

The ENQUIRER exclusively reports Corey Feldman and his model-wife Susie had his-and-hers plastic surgery so they would look toned and camera-ready for the second season of surreality show The Two Coreys.

Corey had liposuction, and his sexy spouse had breast implants, say sources.

“Feldman is very vain about his appearance - he always tries to look cool.

“And he wears a ton of makeup, onscreen and off,” said a source close to the couple.

According to the friend, Feldman, 36, felt pudgy around the middle standing next to his taut 26-year-old wife.

And he wasn’t about to be upstaged by her or his now trim-looking co-star, longtime pal Corey Haim.

But it was Susie’s breast enhancement between seasons that convinced Corey to get plastic surgery.

Aw, Feldman. Losing your youthful Lost Boy good looks. Still feel like the ugly-duckling kid from Stand By Me? Everyone gets a little pudgy around the middle once they hit their 30s, so don’t worry about it. And sure, it’s none of my gosh darn business, but as a fellow thirtysomething (and I hate that word) let me tell you that trying to look cool at our age also means not trying to look like we are in our early twenties anymore. So get some nice Dockers, some nice Izod polo shirts, and stop spiking your hair. Seriously, dude, you will look just fine.