The answer to both smelly skunks and certain cranky British A&R executives

Where does the National Enquirer get this stuff?
SIMON COWELL BATHES IN TOMATO SOUP
SIMON COWELL – seems the “Idol? genius spends hours soaking naked in a fab Fountain of Youth concoction he calls “Tomate Cerise!” Simon orders Italian cherry tomatoes flown in from Europe, smashes them to pulp in a big bucket – then pours the bright-red goop into a bathtub filled with Perrier water!
Simon says the tomato enzymes not only eradicate age spots and keep the skin looking young – they even jazz up the metabolism.
My Spy says his housekeepers aren’t happy about swabbing pureed goo out of the master tub, and keep muttering stuff like “damn tomato soup!?
After I read this all I could think about was that episode of the Brady Bunch where they had to wash Tiger in tomato juice after he tangled with a skunk. (I think that happened on the Brady Bunch. If it didn’t, it should have, as the whole “pet or child has run-in with skunk, bathes in tomato juice” was a staple in American television comedy scripts for a while.)
Like much of what I read in the Enquirer, I originally wrote this Simon-tomato soup story off as bullshit. But then I saw the above picture ….. that lapel pin? Looks sort of like a tomato, doesn’t it? Hmmmm. Suddenly, I crave a grilled cheese sandwich.
Simon Cowell, American Idol, tomato soup, Brady Bunch, skunks, grilled cheese sandwich

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