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Oprah to take over Universe and take away my fat people show

by Amy

Oprah Winfrey has her own TV channel. No, not Oxygen, a different one. Oprah has reached a deal with Discovery Communications to operate the OWN: The Oprah Winfrey Network. Discovery will give up its Discovery Health channel in order to OWN. The channel was started in 1999, has over 70 million subscribers and is our number one source of Tranny and Gastric bypass shows.

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Oprah I know you’re working on world domination but please, please, please don’t take away the shows about babies with two heads and people born with lobster claws for hands.

Oprah will have complete control over OWN, but they are currently looking for a CEO. Gayle, and Steadmen get your gloves on. Oprah said, “For me, the launch of ‘The Oprah Winfrey Network’ is the evolution of the work I’ve been doing on television all these years and a natural extension of my (syndicated daytime) show.”

“Waaa Ha, HA!” She added.

“I said from the beginning that this was an opportunity for me to step out of the box and make the kind of shows that make my heart sing,” Oprah went on to say, emphasizing that she planned to keep the focus on “mindful, not mindless, television.” Interesting because when I put on Oprah today she was talking to a guy who invented a new kind of Post-It.

But anyway in addition to her responsibilities at OWN, Winfrey will continue her duties with The Oprah Winfrey Show, which is slated to talk about doody with Dr. Oz through at least through mid-2011.

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Posted in And a biscuit!, News on January 16th, 2008

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