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Never in a million years would I have made this up

by Lori

SOMEbody may have made this up, but it wasn’t me. I mean, I have, on occasion, been told that I have a sick and twisted sense of humor, but even my mind wouldn’t have come up with this one. Even my mind after I have watched a Jackass marathon and a John Waters film festival. Never never. Never.

People. People! PEOPLE! Are you ready for this? Are you ready? You probably aren’t ready for this, but I have to tell you anyway. The Mirror is reporting that the King of (Skeevy) Pop, Michael Jackson, is dating the Queen of (Skeevy) Short-Term relationships, Pamela Anderson. Yes! You heard me! YES! Michael Jackson and Pamela Anderson? WTF?????

Does that not make you want to take a shower? Scrub really hard with lots of hot water? I mean, Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee were kind of gross because of that sex tape that got “stolen” and released, because, ew! And then she was married to Kid Rock for like 15 minutes (and in multiple weddings, like they were on some sort of wedding tour), and he was a huge douche and divorced her because she was in Borat. And then there was that seven minute marriage to Rick Salomon, Paris Hilton’s sloppy seconds. But Michael Jackson? For real? I mean, Tommy Lee is covered in tats and both he and Kid Rock look like they shower maybe once every couple of weeks. But Michael Jackson has the sort of filthy film that doesn’t wash off.


Posted in Bucket of Crazy, Filthy Film, What the F?, Who's Zoomin' Who on September 3rd, 2008

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One Response to “Never in a million years would I have made this up”

  1. Jennifer jam-on-toast Says:
    September 3rd, 2008 at 10:52 am

    Michael Jackson is too white to ever get dirty.

    I give it one date, if even, & probably only for publicity, since she clearly needs some (publicity, that is), and since she won’t get some in the way that she probably likes, she’ll be off and onto the next guy. Or the next girl. Maybe this is some sort of transition.

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