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Madonna’s Busy Week

by Amy

Ms. Madonna has been busy putting the final touches on her forthcoming album, due in stores April 29th. But that’s way off. Madge has been putting on her blasphemous thinking cap for her upcoming world tour. Reportedly, a performance of “Papa Don’t Preach” will be remixed to a dancehall beat, in which the singer will don a slutty, Gaultier-designed Mother Theresa habit, then proceed to be simulated-gang-banged by a group of background dancers outfitted as Jesus, Mohammed, Moses, and Martin Luther King. It’s like Christmas, Passover, Ramadan and MLK day in one!

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For an encore Madonna plans to sodomize Guy Fox, Gandhi and John Quincy Adams on a May Pole.

But that’s not all. Madonna also just finished shooting a video from her album formerly not known as Licorice.

The Queen of Pop’s latest transformation will see her don a dominatrix-style latex catsuit in a raunchier-than-ever video for new single 4 Minutes To Save The World.

We can reveal that in the promo Madge plays - wait for it - a pimp who rescues the planet in an impressive 240 seconds.

Justin Timberlake and US producer Timbaland play her bitches.

In the sexually charged video, Madge cracks the whip and gets her slaves, Justin and Timbaland, to do whatever she wants as she towers over their quivering bodies in killer heels.

Ohh, we may need to take the day off work when that video comes out for a little special alone time. But that’s not all the Madonna news, No!

Also reported this week is that Madonna and Guy Ritchie have been making plans to renew their wedding vows. The couple have decided that a summer ceremony will be the perfect way to put an end to rumors that their marriage is on the rocks.

“Renewing their vows is the one way Guy and Madonna can show the world they are strong,” a source told the News of the World. “They’ve worked hard to iron out their differences to get through the tough times.

“It’s going to be a very emotional day and that’s why they want the people who are closest to them to share it with them.” The newspaper claims that only close family and friends will be invited to the service, which is expected to take place at the couple’s home in Wiltshire.

No reports yet as to who gets to wear the purple penatrator.
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Posted in Damn! on February 5th, 2008

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