Live Blogging the RNC - God help us
Oh how I love live blogging. Not only do I not have to go searching for some good gossip, I get to write fast and not edit myself, throwing annoying nuisances like spelling and grammar out the window. So why not live blog Sarah Palin’s address to the Republican National Convention? Lori has left the room to balance our check book, not able to stomach the lies and hot air. But I am a trooper so here we go.
9:27 - Rudi Gulliani is still yammering on with his intro. Luckily I just finished watching Project Runway and tivoed this bitch so fast forward here we go.
9:29 - What’s Tina Fey doing there? Oh wait that is Palin. SNL needs to bring Ms. Fey back to play her cause she’s a dead ringer.
9:32 - Those conservative fucks stop cheering and the hot librarian starts talking.
9:32 - Sarah Palin accepts the RNC’s nom to be VP. Did someone just do an Arsenio dog pound bark?
9:33 - Damn the woman’s section of WalMart sure has a strong showing in the crowd.
9:34 - Lori from the other room “She sounds like she’s reading Yertle the Turtle to a group of elementary school students.”
9:37 - Bristol and Willow and Piper are her daughter’s names and are also towns in Virginia.
9:42 - Palin says she’s just an average Hockey mom. You’re in the lower 48 Missy! It’s soccer mom here!
9:41 - Lori wonders if they gave Levi Johnston a gameboy to keep him busy.
9:43 - The delgates sure are screaming and cheering a lot for someone who’s not really saying anything.
9:45 - I was temporarily blinded by Cindy McCain’s dress. What shade of Satan’s vomit is that?
9:47 - If Palin goes to Washington she wants to leave this nation better than she found it. That actually won’t be hard to do.
9:47-52 A bunch of rhetoric about what she did for Alaska that the audience feels they need to clap for.
9:53 - Fuck the pine trees and snow bunnies! Let’s drill in AK!
9:55 - Oh boy. Here comes the Obama attacks - all low blows and nothing of substance or truth.
9:58 - I don’t think I can be funny anymore because I’m just mad now.
10:08 - I just uncurled myself from the ball of frustration and fear for the future of our country to hear the end of her speech. Palin ends by saying “if change is the goal we share than join our cause. and help America elect a great man as the next president of the United States. Elect Barack Obama! Oh fooey, my bad. I mean elect John McCain.”
