Trashy Celebs

Despite finishing in fifth place for losers (otherwise known as sixth place) on the fifth season of American Idol, Pickler’s music career hasn’t ended. She signed a record deal and has been touring, has performed at the legendary Grand Ole Opry and on the Country Music Awards. But she’s found another use for these public performances; not only are they good for connecting with fans and promoting her music, but for jealous, angry rages as well:

Kellie Pickler may have trouble with big-city cuisine, but the American Idol star knows how to handle a cheat. According to The Tennessean, the 21-year-old country singer told fans at a concert on October 1 that she and Nashville Predators player Jordin Tootoo were through. “Jordin knows what he did,�? she said ominously.

At a September 22 show in Michigan, concertgoers say that Pickler announced that her new theme song is Carrie Underwood’s Before He Cheats, and then added that she hoped Tootoo’s teeth would be knocked out during a hockey game.

Despite her jokes, however, fans thought Pickler was in pain over the end of her 8-month-long relationship with Tootoo — she cried while singing Didn’t You Know How Much I Loved You.

Go girl! Call him out on stage! But why did she stop there? Why didn’t she tell the world that in addition to being a dirty cheater, he also has bad breath and a small penis? And plays hockey for a team that nobody has heard of and no one cares about and might get sold anyway? Why didn’t she announce that he wears women’s underwear under his uniform and that he cried his eyes out when they watched The Notebook? The woman is standing onstage with a captive audience and a microphone in her hand, and all she can come up with is that she hopes his teeth get knocked out?

I have to wonder though, when she was standing onstage venting about her cheatin’, hockey playin’, bad breath and small penis havin’ boyfriend, if she was contractually obligated to use a reference to another American Idol contestant and or his/her song. I mean, was it really that much of a coincidence that it was Carrie Underwood’s “Before He Cheats” that she mentioned? And the song is “Before” not “After He Cheats I’m Going to Get Onstage and Tell the World that He Has a Season Pass for The View on His Tivo.”

Fox is apparently developing a sitcom starring Pickler as a character based on herself, so she’ll have many more chances to publicly trash talk potential suitors, rude DMV employees, bad sushi chefs, and incompetent limo drivers in the future. Right on!

Kellie Pickler, American Idol, Nashville Predators, Jordin Tootoo, Carrie Underwood, Before He Cheats, The View