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It only takes a …. ball?

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And now absolutely no one can say that Lance Armstrong isn’t a totally freakin’ stud. Despite having only one testicle (which everyone in the world knows about and which the entire Internet — including this site — loves to discuss endlessly) Mr. Armstrong is going to be a daddy again. Even after displaying a continued fear of commitment after dumping Sheryl Crow and Kate Hudson and having a fling with one or the other of the Olsen twins, he is now suddenly and forever tied to girlfriend Anna Hansen, who is expecting their first (and I imagine only) child together in June 2009.

From what all the Internets tell me, Armstrong’s previous three children with ex-wife Kristin, were conceived through in vitro fertilization after his treatments occurred. But the Christmas miracle here is that this baby was conceived the old fashioned way — through knockin’ da boots. Apparently this is ultra-rare for men who have lost a testicle to cancer (which was the reason for the in vitro procedure) so that can only lead me to figure that this pregnancy is what folks euphemistically call the “happy accident.” Weren’t there some rumors a while back that implicated Armstrong is some sort of doping scandal? Everyone wondered if he had some chemical help to assist in winning all those bike races (including the Tour de France seven times after beating cancer) but know I wonder if there will be a whole new doping scandal …. with his sperm. Are there steroids that specifically focus on bulking up the muscles in your sperm?


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