In Memorium - India Bush
The Bush family cat, India, has died after 18 years of glorging on Laura’s shoes, the White House reported on Monday.
The black female Shorthair was named after the former Texas Ranger baseball player, Ruben Sierra, who was called “El India” and not after those brown people who chase “Tutunka” from the Kevin Costner movie as President Bush had previously told people.
The kitty was actually given the name by Bush’s daughter Barbara. And when Barbara and her twin sister, Jenna, went away to college, the cat stayed at the White House, specifically to ward off black spirit of Karl Rove who’s relentless pursuit of the blood of infidels proved to be increasingly irritating.
The Bushes “are deeply saddened,” first lady Laura Bush’s spokeswoman, Sally McDonough, said this morning. “India was a beloved member of the Bush family for almost two decades. She will be greatly missed.”
The Bush family has two other pets, Barney and Miss Beasley, both Scottish terrier dogs. While Miss Beasley continued on with her normal daily routine of sleeping at barking at pillows, the attention craving Barney was suspiciously distant from the media.
“Barney is loco, esai,” said one White House staffer who preferred to not be identified. “That pooch is insane in the membrane.” The staffer went on to relay what a prima donna Barney was during the filming of the White House Christmas Video. And would go on inaudible barking tangents when India made a cameo on Laura’s lap.
“He just wanted it to be him and that semi-retarded Ms. Beasley returning to Texas, but you haven’t heard that from me,” said the staffer.
No reports on where India will be laid to rest but President Bush was asked to refrain from attempting to flush her down the Presidential can.
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