Trashy Celebs

The Scissor Sisters played The Pageant nightclub in St. Louis, MO last night and the Trash Talkers (along with special guests The Trash Talkers’ Downstairs Neighbors) were there ready to shake their asses and report back on all the night’s trashy events. And let me tell you, people, that in addition to being as gay as Elton John’s wedding, the show was a big pile of trash as well, but totally awesome trash, not like the usual trash we report on.

The Scissor Sisters took the stage and immediately got most of the crowd pumped up and dancing with their mix of disco and rock and Jake Shears gay outfits. After a few songs, apparently there were a few people still not dancing so Ana Matronic, our Mistress of Ceremonies, invited them to (and I am paraphrasing a bit) kindly retire to the restroom and remove whatever was in their butts. She also took this moment to let us all know that the drummer, Paddy Boom, has a penis approximately the same size as her microphone. (Her language wasn’t quite as polite as what I am using here. “She’s so pretty, but that mouth!”) She promised that we would party until her boobs fell out of her dress. Trashy!

Later, after someone in the crowd announced that he wanted to have Babydaddy’s face tattooed on his ass and after I noticed that guitarist Del Marquis was wearing a superfly white jumpsuit much like one I had in the second grade, Ana told a story about a complaint they got from a woman who had taken her kids to see their show in Sydney, Australia (not Sydney, Texas, as Ana pointed out.) Apparently this woman complained because they cursed too much. Ana’s response: Lady, have you heard our records? She went on to say “We are queers, we are scarlet women, we are fornicators. We are faggots. And do you know what fag stands for? Filthy and Gorgeous!” And then they ripped into Filthy/Gorgeous and totally blew the walls off the place. And to me, that was the highlight of the show, not just because that is one of my favorite Scissor Sister songs or because we were all dancing so hard and feeling so good. It was because (and please forgive me for getting a little serious and a little political here) we shouted down the hate a little bit more tonight. There were all sorts of people at this show: gay and straight, old and young, freaky-deaky and not freaky-deaky, fat and thin. And we were all there to dance and listen to some music and a women talk a little dirty to us and a watch a singer dance around the stage joyously.

So suck it, Ann Coulter, you dipshit. You may think it’s funny to talk about “faggot rehab” but I have to say, even though it’s corny, I experienced my own version of it tonight. I am “filthy” and I am “gorgeous.” So there.

Scissor Sisters, The Pageant, Gay Pride