Trashy Celebs

Live from Selma Hayek’s and Jennifer Lopez’s cleavage it’s the 66th annual Golden Globe Awards. We’re starting late but thanks to our DVR we can speed through this mess to the good parts.

Amy - And J. Lo jumps right into it with breast.. I mean best supporting actress is Kate Winslet for The Reader. And damn she look good but her husband looks scratchy.

Lori- Sting. Ick! This is the year people need to shave. Peter Gabriel also needs to shave.

Amy - Clint Eastwood’s wife is checking her facebook status on her iPhone.

Lori - It’s also the year of technical difficulties since the lights went on and off. Oh man Rumor Willis got the genomic backwash of Demi Moore and Bruce Willis.

Amy - Don’t serve Jeremy Piven the tuna, his delicate ecosystem can’t handle it.

Lori - Paul Giamatti’s mutton chops are angry. He also needs to shave.

Lori- Aww Drew Barrymore’s who did you just fuck in the parking lot?

Amy- From the roll of toilet paper sticking out of her hair I’d say it was the janitor closet.


Lori- Beyonce is polite she claps for everyone. Even the Jonas Brothers. Man, I would love to be friends with celebrities to see what they’re writing on their facebooks status updates.

Amy- Yeah, you can see a bunch of them checking their iPhones.

Lori- Johnny Depp doesn’t need to shave but I do wonder when the last time he washed his hair was.

Amy - And when he turned British.

Lori- He lives in France so that’s close enough.

Amy- Renee Zellweger’s dress looks like a garnish in Satan’s cocktail.

Amy - This year’s Golden Globes turns into a big game of who needs to shave?

Lori- Answer - Everyone.

Lori- Everyone gets up during the commercials to kiss as much ass as possible in two minutes and 30 seconds.

Amy - I never realized how much Tom Brokaw looks like George Bush.

Lori - Damn Seth Rogan look good!

Amy - And he doesn’t need to shave.

Amy - There’s a shot of Tina Fey sitting at her table and her dress goes down past her cleavage line. We pick this blog thing up after Lori made me rewind that 28 times and hit me with the remote if I spoke during it.

Lori- Tracey Morgan’s thanking Craft services while accepting the Golden Globe for 30 Rock may be the best acceptance speech ever.

Amy - Strike that, Tina Fey’s acceptance speech telling all the haters to suck it is the best ever.

And with that we’re calling it a night. You can check out the winners online on websites much more responsible than us who don’t stay up till two in the morning watching Tina Fey walk frame by frame.