Guy Ritchie Bans Madonna From Cutting Her Hair

MADONNA’s movie-making husband Guy Ritchie has banned the singer from cutting her hair.

The Material Girl hitmaker — who has been sporting long blonde locks on her current Sticky and Sweet tour — is desperate for a radical new style, but Guy is less than thrilled with the idea.

The 50-year-old singer told Fox News, “I want to have shorter hair, but I have a husband that loves the long-haired look and, well, that is just one of the things I do for him.”

Madonna’s hair is also one of her most profitable assets.

Earlier this year, the queen of pop was paid $10 million to advertise Sunsilk hair care products, and starred in a global ‘Life Can’t Wait’ campaign for the company alongside Shakira and the late Marilyn Monroe.

Seriously, though, does anyone think that Madonna actually uses Sunsilk hair care products? I imagine she uses something made of crushed diamonds and yak’s milk. And only the purest of spring waters from the mountains of Tibet to rinse the shampoo from her hair. And hey, $10 million from Sunsilk will buy you a lot of diamond and yaks milk shampoo.

My argument with this little piece of “news” is that I don’t think Madonna’s hair is “one of her most profitable assets.” Sunsilk didn’t want her for their commercials because of her hair They wanted her because she is Madonna. She could be completely bald and if she was still willing to do it, I bet Sunsilk still would have paid her $10 million. And you would still buy it!

Actually The National Enquirer is reporting that Rachael Ray is having head surgery and will be without a head for three months beginning in December. During the time Ray is headless, a Teddy Ruxpin doll affixed to her body with duct tape will allow her to continue her talk show host duties.

Oh no, that’s not right either. The National Enquirer reported Friday that Rachael Ray was scared she had throat cancer and will require surgery that will prevent her from speaking for about two months, interfering with her work schedule. Turns out it is not cancerous, but could be dangerous to her health. Rachael used to be a heavy smoker although she has since quit. The surgery will leave her unable to speak for up to two months and she is trying to pre-tape shows in preparation. It sounds like it is just recommended that she take two months to heal, and that she may not lose her voice entirely.

Oh wait that’s not right either. Ray herself came out saying that all those rumors are false, she won’t be losing her voice, having a head transplant or having a cancerous growth removed. In fact she’s just having a benign cyst on her vocal cord removed resulting in her having to rest for a week.

It’s really amazing how these rumors get out of hand.

Naomi Campbell really needs to stuff a sock in it. Do supermodels even wear socks? Maybe she should stick a Prada bag or a Dolce scarf or whatever it takes to shut her up. Because while she is famous for being a supermodel and for hitting people with cell phones and that is okay, but invoking one of our nation’s biggest tragedies as the reason she got arrested for being a freaking idiot on plane? That is just stupid and insensitive. Sure, I get irritated when I have to take my shoes off to go through security in the airport, but I don’t invoke 911! I blame misdirected panic and ineffective security policies for that. And let me point out that when asked to remove my shoes, I don’t spit at the individuals asking me to do so. Most importantly, because it is gross and wrong, and also because I don’t have lots of money and lawyers who will keep me from ending p at Guantanamo Bay.

But here is some news that cheered me up a bit: the group Fall Out Boy has donated $50,000 to California’s No on 8.

Apparently Pete Wentz himself wrote a bit about the issue on his blog, wherever it is out there on the internets:

“There are a lot of causes out there — a lot of ‘good’ fights to be fought. I think proposition 8 is pretty lame — as many others do too. It’s fucking lame.”

Apparently the band’s publicist got a a hold of his statement and cleaned it up a bit, before submitting it to Equality California:

“We believe government shouldn’t legislate love. Vote no on proposition 8.”

Sweet deal, Fall Out Boy. I’ll stop turning off your songs when they come on the radio. Just kidding!

“Oh, girl I has something to tell you!” went Penn’s message…or so we imagine.

Actually Franco told Out magazine, “After our [on-screen] kiss, Sean texted Madonna - his ex-wife, Madonna - and said, ‘I just popped my cherry kissing a guy. I thought of you. I don’t know why‘ . . . There’s a scene in the pool and everybody else is dressed and there’s just something uncomfortable about that.”

I think if texting had been around in the mid-nineties when I had my first same-sex kiss, Madonna would have been on my short list as well. Not because I owe her anything but like Penn, I was probably thinking of her as well.

For those of you unfamiliar with the Gus Van Sant-directed bio pic, Milk, it tells the story of the first openly gay man elected to political office, Harvey Milk. Milk was elected to the San Francisco board of supervisors in 1977 and was gunned down inside City Hall by douche bag bigot Dan White, along with San Francisco mayor George Moscone.

So what did Franco think about the smooch? “Oh my God, I’m kissing Spicoli,” said Franco referring to Penn’s greatest role as stoner Jeff Spicoli in Fast Times at Ridgemont High. “It was amazing, I got to make out with him a few times… it was great.” We wonder what Mr. Hand would think.

If you’re unfamiliar with it, No on 8 is a historic, winnable campaign that can propel the national LGBT movement forward. Its outcome will affect the lives of LGBT people across the nation. But the opposition is currently out-fundraising us at a rate of 3:2. To win, a national network of LGBT folks and allies must dig deep and give to this critical campaign.

But what about other wealthy folks? Namely the super wealthy queer folks who have more than enough cash to help some sisters out.

Ms. Ellen Degeneres is one such celeb, and while we’re happy she blogged about the initiative yesterday (in a slightly rambling way), we’re hoping she’ll do some talkin’ with dollars. That’s why some lovely friends of ours have launched a facebook group called Get Ellen to Give.

We hope in the next few days or weeks Ellen will show us some love but until then, show her you care and want her to help in ways us common folks can’t. Check out The Progressive Project for more information.

In celebration of Da Bell’s 20th, TV’s Extra reunited their very own anchor, Saved by the Bell alum Mario “A.C. Slater” Lopez , with his former co-star Mark-Paul “Zach Morris” Gosselaar to take viewers down memory lane in a segment set to air this Friday.

So before you watch Extra’s coverage of the Reunion. Here’s one of my very favorite Saved by the Bell moments. if you listen closely you can actually hear Jazzercise dying.

What I don’t understand and what I might spend a few minutes wondering about (maybe time spent doing the dishes or cleaning out the cat boxes) is if it is true that out lesbian Samantha Ronson would really refuse to be a guest DJ at a benefit for famed lesbian bar Rubyfruit in NYC, because it is a lesbian bar. I mean, if she refused to do it because she doesn’t do benefits, fine. Or if because the bar is a dump (and I visited Rubyfruit once many years ago, and then it was kind of a dump and there was no one there) then, fine. But to say she won’t do it because it is a homo club? Well that is just stupid.

Of course, if Rubyfruit really wants to raise some money or really wants some new respectability, it will refuse entry to famewhore Samantha Ronson (and take all those pictures of Melissa Etheridge off the wall) and just serve good drinks in a friendly atmosphere and play some damn good music. Something tells me that they don’t want to be known as “that bar where Lindsay Lohan’s girlfriend played that one time, and no one really cared.” Just sayin’.