Trashy Celebs

May 12, 2008 — YOU’D think Lindsay Lohan would be used to all the drama by now. But she was crying her eyes out the other night at the Crown Bar in West Hollywood, upset over a fight she had with her girlfriend Sam Ronson, who was deejaying. “They had a full-blown fight,” said our spy. “Evan Ross, Diana’s son, and Lauren Conrad comforted her while Lindsay kept wiping her tears.” Lohan, who has been accused of stealing clothes lately, just recorded a song in which the lyrics go: “You got a problem with it? If I want it, I get it now.”

What I dig about these crazy ass Lesbian Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson drama stories is that they are generally about the drama and not about the “Is she gay? Is she not gay?” aspect of the story. Because who gives a flyin’ flip who she’s sleeping with? We just want to hear about these meltdowns in nightclubs in West Hollywood (or New York or Los Angeles or Chicago or flipping Sioux Falls, SD [shout-out, KFK!]). Celebrities having a few too many drinks and picking fights with significant others. These are the stories that the internet was made for!

I do have to say though, that like most celebrity couples frequently mentioned in gossip tidbits involving late nights at bars, late night trips to Taco Bell, and late night car accidents or DUI incidents, these two as a couple creep me out a bit. There is a picture floating around that I refuse to reprint here where Samantha Ronson has a big gross ugly hickey on her neck, and of course everyone wants to know if Lindsay Lohan put it there. I just want to know why Lindsay Lohan (whether she is Ronson’s girlfriend or girlfriend) never taught her to put some ice and then some cover-up on that thing. Show some class, Ronson!

Lindsay Lohan, Samantha Ronson

So remember back years and years ago, when Roseanne had a television show that hadn’t yet started to suck? And it was in the early says of said show, when her character, also named Roseanne, worked in a plastics factory? And remember she had a boss at the factory who ended up dating her sister Jackie? And remember that said boss was played by one dashing Mr. George Clooney?

Roseanne Barr propositioned Hollywood star George Clooney the very first time they met on the set of her hit sitcom. Clooney appeared in eleven episodes of Roseanne, from 1988 to 1991 - one of his first major acting roles.
And nothing could prepare the 27-year-old for his first encounter with the larger-than-life star of the show.
The Oscar winner reveals, “I worked on her first series, and when I met her she said, ‘You’re really good looking, why don’t you take me out behind the stage and make me stink.’”

I remember George Clooney from back in those days and he wasn’t quite the debonair gentleman he is now. In fact, I remember that on his stint on Roseanne as well as his time on the 30-minute sitcom ER and his time as “George” (stretch!) on The Facts of Life he was rockin’ the curly mullet.

Hard to believe that he went on to appear in such movies as The Perfect Storm, Syriana and Good Night, and Good Luck. And I’m positive we can all be sure that he did not take Roseanne on her offer. I sure hope so anyway, because my grandma is enamored of Mr. Clooney and I don’t want my classy Grandma placed in the same category as someone who would say “make me stink.” Besides, I don’t think Mr. Clooney ever makes anyone stink. I mean, he looks like he smells really good, like expensive shampoo or fabric softener or Ivory soap or apple pie. Or really good like these fresh peaches I bought at the grocery store tonight, but totally in a manly sort of way.

George Clooney, Roseanne, The Perfect Storm, Syriana, Good Night and Good Luck

Is it just me or is Saturday Night Live and Baby Mama star Amy Poehler looking a little knocked up here in this red-carpet picture from the the premiere of …. Baby Mama. Is that irony or just Alanis Morrissette irony?

Never mind. I do know that Amy Poehler isn’t actually all that well known for her fashion sense but that dress just makes me think two things: baggy and covering a pregnancy belly. Could it be that while playing the role of a surrogate for a woman who can’ get pregnant, she got herself all knocked up. Taking the role pretty seriously! I wonder if Tina Fey MADE her do that so she’d get into the role more. Wow, that Tina Fey is one tough-ass boss!

Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Baby Mama

So what is up with super hot, cool funky women dating these older dudes. First, last week we heard that former Joan of Arcadia star Amber Tamblyn was dating David Cross (he’s 19 years her senior). And now some pictures popped up of The Big Chill - many other tall-Jew role acting Jeff Goldblum (it’s ok, we’re Jewish therefore can say that, happy Passover) and a mystery woman. We were shocked, appalled and bummed to learn that mystery woman than none other than the anti-Amy Winehouse, Imogen Heap. If you’re unfamiliar with Heap, pull out your copy of the Garden State soundtrack and listen to track #12, Let Go (actually her band Frou Frou). But Imogen has come out with some other amazing CD’s and kicks some major ass in concert. Girl, why you with Goldblum! I just don’t get it.

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Aw, talk about a full house! Well, that would be my joke if Jodie Sweetin, former star of that awful show that absolutely everyone I know watched faithfully, Full House, had had triplets or something. But I can’t let any mention of her go by without bringing up the show and the role that will follow her forever — Stephanie Tanner! How rude!

Jodie and her husband, Cody Herpin (sounds like heprin which just thins your blood and does not knock up former child stars) welcomed a baby girl on Saturday afternoon via C-section. Little Zoie (what’s with the extra letter there?) weighed 8 pounds 7 ounces and was 21 inches long.

I do like to poke some fun at ole Stephanie Tanner, but we here at Trashy Celebs do wish her and her new family all the best. Mazel Tov! Just please don’t show the little one old tapes from when you hosted Pants Off Dance Off.

I was just on my way here to tell you about how everyone’s favorite Not-Heather and celebrity shoplifter Winona Ryder is engaged to Blake Sennett, the guitarist for the band that everyone thinks is just a person, Rilo Kiley. From what I have read about this non-event, celebrity and gossip bloggers seem shocked that no one knew they are dating (let alone that they might be engaged.) I just say that it’s not so much that no one knows, but that no one really cares. Do they? I mean, I dig some of Ryder’s movies, but her career really tanked after the whole shoplifting debacle. And Rilo Kiley is a one of those hip, niche bands whose fans generally are people more likely to listen to NPR and watch Heroes than pay attention to celebrity gossip.

As far as I am concerned, the only interesting part of this is that Ryder and Sennett look like they could almost be the same person. Check out this picture borrowed from Perez Hilton:

Is it just me or does she seem surprised to be dating someone shorter than her rather than someone with white-guy dreads or someone with her name tattooed on his arm?

Whatever. It sure does seem like Winona likes her some rock and rollers though, doesn’t she? In the past she’s dated Dave Pirner (of Soul Asylum) and Dave Grohl (Foo Fighters.) And she has dated some actors with rock and roll-type attitudes, like Johnny Depp (of the famous “Winona Forever” tattoo) and Matt Damon (of the Jason Bourne things-go-kablooey movies). There’s a Primus joke in here somewhere, but I just can’t quite find it.

I’m a day late on my Oprah viewing, so it was just this afternoon that I was able to watch her interview with actress Valerie Bertinelli. Bertinelli is promoting her new book, Losing It: And Gaining My Life Back One Pound at a Time. Usually when Oprah has celebrity interviews I just skip over them because they are kind of boring and Oprah doesn’t dig out too much good gossip. (They can’t all be Tom Cruise jumping on a couch.) But this one promised some dirt about Valerie who we all (well all of us who watched TV in the late 70s/early 80s) knew as the good girl on One Day at a Time and as a good girl (presumably, because I never watched this one) in Touched By An Angel. She married a rockstar (Eddie Van Halen!) Did did cocaine! She dated Steven Spielberg! She gained and lost a lot of weight!

But then Valerie talks about “passionately” kissing another women and asks Oprah if she ever has:

Watch Valerie backpedal that one! Don’t want to bring up all those rumors again! Oprah just might slap 40 more pounds right off Bertinelli’s head! But the really sad thing is thinking of Gayle sitting alone in a hotel room somewhere, watching this show and sobbing quietly once again. Poor Gayle. Oprah won’t let her kiss her on the mouth.

Valerie Bertinelli, Oprah Winfrey, Gayle King

Well we keep reporting on who Jennifer Aniston is dating and we keep sending shout-outs and props and encouragement, but then it seems like those flings just fade away and she moves on to another handsome Brad Pitt look alike. Rumor is now that she is involved with Aaron Eckhart, her co-star in Traveling, which is currently filming in Vancouver, Canada. (Have you every been to Vancouver? Beautiful city.)

Jenny, girl, you know that we here at Trashy Celebs support you and really want you to find what you are looking for … and handsome man and happiness and to start a family with those eggs you are rumored to have frozen. But you have to pick one and stick with him, y’know? There are only so many blond, ruggedly, boyishly handsome actors out there. If you aren’t going to pick one, then you better pace yourself a little bit.

Jennifer Aniston, Aaron Eckhart

Things are a little (olay a lot) busy in the Trash Talkin’ household today, but I didn’t want to leave you without any trash to talk yourselves, so here are some blind items I spotted over on Gawker. Some of them are pretty obvious, some of them are a little hard to figure out and all of them are fun (and sometimes gross.) Enjoy.

* What couple almost split up during the making of that movie because she was on fire with jealousy that he got to show his actual talent? (No worries. It totally bombed.)
* Which top anchor is a bottom?
* Which pop star is a top? (Or so goes the legend; actually, he and one of his hot boyfriends switched positions and loved it.)
* Which female politician once slept with a rabbi’s sister, according to an American Idol personality who’s a friend of the rabbi?
* What much younger songstress has very little actual chemistry with the husband, probably because she’s a big old lesbo?
* Which pasty-white club mess (with his friends) blithely walked out on a check at Beige (after insanely trying to get me to pay it) and was thrown out of Hiro for choking his boyfriend, the same week he was featured in New York magazine’s Look Book? What same guy became the subject of restraining tactics by a stylist when he kept using the stylist’s name to get free clothes long after he ceased working for him? (Oh, did I mention he’s also a thief?)
* What cute, young guy, who’s Hollywood royalty, recently had a heartwarming experience peeing into a trannie’s anus, only to have all kinds of shit shoot out?
* Which exotic, young hotshot designer has been supposedly doing it with that black rapper with many children?

blind items

The Leaky Cauldron is leaking some good shit this week. It’s reported that Daniel “Harry Potter” Radcliffe and Emma “Hermione Granger” Watson had a little din-din together on Valentine’s Day. The two were spotted at a London Pub not far from Radcliffe’s home base.

An onlooker was quoted stating that “they arrived quite late at the pub - about 10pm - and sat outside, using each other’s bodies for warmth. Emma, who was wearing a black top and matching pashmina, kept looking over her shoulder nervously as if she didn’t wanted to be recognized. When people started to notice the couple and began pointing, she wrapped her scarf around her head so only her eyes were peeping out. Daniel found her new look hysterical and started laughing. Throughout the night, in fact, he just kept giggling like a love-struck teen. They then left the pub, heads together and whispering, and headed in the direction of Daniel’s home nearby.”

“Aww how cute,” is our reaction since we know this is real life and the Harry Potter Books are fiction. We wonder how many fans would lose their shit because Hermione and Ron are together in the book and what would Ginnie say about Hermione dating Harry Potter and would that totally change the ending to the series not to mention the dynamic of the main characters..but we’re not big geeks so no dirt off our shoulders.

However we worry about the people who run this site. Eww. We’re slightly tempted to join and see what this fanlisting site really is talking about but we have a feeling it would make us puke up our butter beer.

He’s young, he’s talented, he’s one of the hottest celebrities out there, and even lesbians want to make out with him. And, you might note, he’s not married. Or even engaged. So why are Star Magazine readers all up in his business then?

Star Exclusive: Justin Timberlake Caught Kissing Kate Hudson! Star Readers To Justin: You Cheated!
When Jessica Biel is away, Justin Timberlake will play!

And that’s exactly what he did on Jan. 11 when he was caught kissing Kate Hudson at Hollywood club Villa.

Meanwhile, Jessica — whom Justin has been dating for much of the past year — was on the other side of the world in London filming a new movie.

“They seemed to be so into each other. Kate was batting her eyelashes, laughing hard and touching her mouth a lot — all the usual come-ons,” an eyewitness tells Star.

But as the party began to wind down, Justin and Kate heated up! Although reps for both deny the hookup, the eyewitness says Justin went in to kiss Kate — and it was some liplock!

So did Justin cheat on Jessica? Considering 95% of Star readers polled said they feel a lip-locking kiss is cheating, we’d say yes!

Aw, really, who cares who Justin Timberlake is kissing these days? I sure don’t. All I care about is that he keeps coming up with sweet dance tunes like “SexyBack” and “What Goes Around Comes Around” for my iPod and keeps looking pretty, and occasionaly shows up to make a fool out of himself on Saturday Night Live.

Besides, everyone knows that it ain’t going to last with Jessica Biel. Shoot, even Jessica Biel knows that. She’s just not enough of a celebrity for him, just like Cameron Diaz. The only way a relationship of Justin Timberlake’s is going to work out is if he dates someone as famous as or more famous than he is …. like Britney Spears before she lost her goddamn mind. He probably could have made it work with Christina Aguilera, but he missed his chance on that one. Kate Hudson isn’t famous enough either, so she probably won’t get much past kissing him in a club. Even Janet Jackson gave it a shot, but she only ended up showing her boob to the world, while he walked away with free Super Bowl tickets. The way things are going now, the only female celebrity that seems famous and powerful enough to date Justin Timberlake is Oprah herself. Watch out Stedman!

Justin Timberlake, Jessica Biel, Kate Hudson, Britney Spears, Cameron Diaz, Christina Aguilera, Janet Jackson, Oprah

So, like five minutes ago, Pamela Anderson (formerly Pamela Anderson Lee, a.k.a. Mrs. Tommy Lee and also the former Mrs. My Name is Kiiiiiiiiiiiid, KID ROCK!!!) married Rick Salomon, professional skeeze best known for holding the camera in the infamous and over-hyped Paris Hilton sex tape. About three minutes into the marriage, Anderson stated that she filed for divorce, then 30 seconds later, announced that no, they were going to work it out. Now at the five minute mark, she has announced that not only is the divorce back on, but Anderson is pregnant. Call me old fashioned, but if I think if you are on the verge of divorcing someone, the best course if action probably doesn’t include having unprotected sex with him.

From TMZ:

Pam to Rick — I’m Pregnant, Get Lost!

Posted Jan 9th 2008 11:15PM by TMZ Staff

TMZ has learned the divorce between Pam Anderson and Rick Salomon is back on and Pam is pregnant!

You’ll recall Anderson filed for divorce last month, but called it off just days later. But sources tell TMZ she is now moving forward with the divorce, even though we know she’s pregnant with his baby.

Salomon has told friends he believes she is “acting crazy” because of the pregnancy and hopes she will settle back into the marriage. Interestingly, in her divorce petition, Anderson asked for spousal support but not child support.

The couple were married in Las Vegas on October 6.

Aw, that is almost enough to make me feel bad for Rick Salomon. Not. But I do enjoy that TMZ points out how Anderson asked for spousal support (does she really need it? or deserve it from someone she has been married to for less than four months) but not child support. Clearly they are implying that the baby isn’t his. I wonder when the tabloids will start speculating on who baby daddy actually is? Will they go on the talk-show circuit? Have their blood tests revealed on Dr. Phil? Or maybe they will go upscale and go with that old coot Larry King. I’m just wondering when CNN will start their special series on the marriage and family of Pamela Anderson Lee Rock and Rick Douchebag Salomon.

I have to say though, that after reading this story and others like it, I am so friggin’ thankful that there are fine folks in our government working so hard to protect the sanctity of this goddamn freakshow of a heterosexual marriage. God Bless America.

Pamela Anderson, Rick Salomon, Pamela Anderson divorce, Pamela Anderson pregnant

Aw, look at the happy parents-to-be! I guess things work different in Australia, all the way over there on the other side of the world and the whole who carries the kangaroo in the pouch works differently, because judging from that picture, Keith Urban is well on his way to craving crunchy salty foods one minute then sending Nicole out for frozen yogurt the next. Or maybe it’s all about french fries or pizza or something with melted cheese. Or chocolate. Who knows what sort of food cravings a pregnant Australian country-singer might have?

This baby will be the first for Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban. Kidman has two children with former husband Tom “Crazypants” Cruise. Hopefully this pregnancy will make Kidman actually smile enough to prove that she has teeth.

Nicole Kidman, Keith Urban

Jennifer Aniston, you are big pimpin’ and I am not even joking with you. First you were married to the very, very pretty Brad Pitt and everyone thought it was lovely. Then after that, you were with Vince Vaughn, who, while a decent actor who has been in some fun movies (and who seems like a nice, funny guy) but is not exactly pretty himself. But now it is all over the internets that you have climbed back on the pretty man bus with another fresher, more beautiful young actor, Jason Smith, best known as Smith Jerrod from Sex and the City.

Britain’s Closer magazine claims Jen, 38, is hooking up with Sex and the City star and former Rosario Dawson flame, 36-year-old Jason Lewis. The two were seen sharing a romantic dinner in New York City, where a source says: “They’ve met a few times. He thinks she’s gorgeous and they just clicked. It’s funny how much they have in common. Jen seems to really like Jason, but so far they’ve met up in secret as Jen hates the pressure her fame puts on all of her relationships.”

Jennifer Aniston, if you are not hitting that then you totally should start, because that is one good-looking man. Surely you used to watch Sex and the City (probably with BFF Courtney Cox) and I’m sure you remember that he was naked through most of his scenes so you know exactly what you are getting. Yowza!

Jennifer Aniston, Jason Lewis, Sex and the City

So like Ms. Jodie Foster, Ms. Queen Latifah is running around in circles in regard to her sexuality. There has been a rumor going around that Queen Latifah (aka) Dana Owens is about to marry her personal trainer and so-called girlfriend, Jeanette Jenkins. Queen, however has never admitted that she’s dating Jeanette. She told The Chicago Sun Times ”When you’re famous these days, it’s just part of the deal — unfortunately. People will make up all sorts of things that are not true. . . . There ain’t gonna be no wedding.”

Aww, we wonder if every time Latifah says stuff like that she has to go and apologize to her Boo and send her gifts of love like Teddy Bears and Balloons that say “I love you”. Chicks love that shit. But anyway, hats off to you Jeanette Jenkins, we hope she’s worth it and comes around to the truth one day.

Jodie Foster, Queen Latifah, Jeanette Jenkins