Bored with his princely duties of doing prince-stuff like attending royal things and wearing National Socialist German Workers’ Party garb to social events, ginger-fox Prince Harry has decided to throw his crown into the acting ring. First up for the prince is a staring role in a remake of the 1985 classic Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment.
The plot goes something like this. Carey Mahoney and his fellow misfit cops, the nerdy guy, the guy who makes funny noises, the crazy ex-military guy and the short black lady with the tiny voice until she yells “don’t move dirt bag” have now graduated from the police academy, and are ready to start going after real criminals. Their assigned precinct just happens to have the city’s highest crime rate, and is under the command of a bumbling Captain. Hijinkes ensue when a local gang of hooligans and their leader, Zed (originally portrayed by that guy who yell-mumbled through Police Academy sequels and Whoopi Goldberg movies - Bobcat Goldthwait) take over the town.
It’s up to Mahoney and his fellow graduates to save the day but they’ll have to get through Mauser, a lieutenant at the precinct, who doesn’t want to see them succeed. 90 minutes and countless masturbation and gay jokes later, Mahoney and his friends plot an appropriate revenge on Mauser while they go after Zed and his gang. Oh and the short black lady yells, “don’t move dirt bag.”
No word on when shooting takes place but as this photo shows, there was an open casting call in London yesterday for the role of Zed along with a few supporting roles.
Is Angelina Jolie addicted to having children? She and partner Brad Pitt have six kids (the most recent being twins born a few months ago) and U.S. Magazine is now reporting that she is pregnant with their seventh. WOWZA, CRAZY MOMMA WOMAN. Do you really want to have seven kids all under the age of eight? Granted, you and your partner are crazy-ass rich and can afford to hire a staff for each one of those kids to help out. But still, seven kids under the age of eight! Seven! Kids! God! Damn! I thought my cousin was nuts when she had three kids under the age of five. Of course, they are all now wonderful, smart football playing teenagers, so it all worked out for her. Maybe Jolie and Pitt are just aiming to field a baseball team.
Wow, it seems like Val Kilmer maybe has gotten a bit of the Obama fever. He told Cindy Adams of the New York Post that he’s been thinking of running for governor of New Mexico. What the hell? I mean, Iceman as the governor? Batman? Would his leather pants from The Doors be prominently be featured in his campaign? Would he be a Real Genius in this political role? Who will be his wingman? I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS AND YET NO ANSWERS?
I think this all will just go away. The Kilmer is just caught up in Obama-mania and has an acting career that hasn’t been the same since he snapped his gum in Top Gun. (Seriously, he has recently been the voice of K.I.T.T. on the remake of Knight Rider. Things are bad.) After the inauguration and after the country settles down with our new President, Kilmer will go back to his 500th rewrite of Top Gun II and all this will go away.
SOMEbody may have made this up, but it wasn’t me. I mean, I have, on occasion, been told that I have a sick and twisted sense of humor, but even my mind wouldn’t have come up with this one. Even my mind after I have watched a Jackass marathon and a John Waters film festival. Never never. Never.
People. People! PEOPLE! Are you ready for this? Are you ready? You probably aren’t ready for this, but I have to tell you anyway. The Mirror is reporting that the King of (Skeevy) Pop, Michael Jackson, is dating the Queen of (Skeevy) Short-Term relationships, Pamela Anderson. Yes! You heard me! YES! Michael Jackson and Pamela Anderson? WTF?????
Does that not make you want to take a shower? Scrub really hard with lots of hot water? I mean, Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee were kind of gross because of that sex tape that got “stolen” and released, because, ew! And then she was married to Kid Rock for like 15 minutes (and in multiple weddings, like they were on some sort of wedding tour), and he was a huge douche and divorced her because she was in Borat. And then there was that seven minute marriage to Rick Salomon, Paris Hilton’s sloppy seconds. But Michael Jackson? For real? I mean, Tommy Lee is covered in tats and both he and Kid Rock look like they shower maybe once every couple of weeks. But Michael Jackson has the sort of filthy film that doesn’t wash off.
In case you’re bummed about the holiday weekend being over and are sitting there wishing it was Friday, I have the perfect cure. OLSEN TWINS DANCE PARTY! They do it all the different ways.
Seriously, who thought this was a good idea or would let their kids do these skankalicious moves? I’ll bet this video can be held personally responsible for skinny jeans and middle school blow jobs. I know that’s gross but I’m just saying.
If Scientology is really all flippin’ that and a bag of potato chips, if it really can cure depression just using vitamins and allow for silent childbirth, if it really is the it-religion of choice amongst all the cool kids in Hollywood, then why can’t it allow for Tom Cruise to grow a couple more inches so that he is at least as tall as wife Katie Holmes, if not a little smidge taller?
What is with Tom and the tall women? And why do I notice it in particular with Katie Holmes? I’m sure she is not as tall as Nicole Kidman but I don’t remember it being so jarring to me in pictures of Cruise and Kidman. Maybe because Kidman is closer to Cruise’s age. I mean Cruise and Holmes are no Billy Joel and Katie Lee Joel, but there is a not-insignificant age difference there and maybe I just find it jarring that she is so much younger, yet also taller than her husband. (That and I still find it a little creepy that he had her knocked up just three months into their relationship.)
So I guess we’ve found something that Scientology can’t do …. make Tom Cruise taller than his wives. Hey, I guess no religion popular with celebrities is perfect.
First up Whaa!
Thanks Dr. King for being a brilliant, fearless purveyor of what’s right and just because we needed the day off yesterday to recoup from a ridiculously disappointing Sunday of football. But we should have seen this coming years ago. The all-knowing soothsayer, Eddie Murphy did try and warn us of Brett Favre and the Packer’s inevitable loss in his 1988 film Coming to America. Yes Prince Akeem of Zamunda told us what time it was and no one had even asked.
I don’t remember doing it but I must have spent a good deal of my childhood watching this movie because I swear I can quote it more than Some Kind of Wonderful and Dirty Dancing combined.
Back to topic at hand, unfortunately Eddie “Donkey” Murphy did have the gift of future predictions when it came to his recent marriage to Tracey Edmonds. The couple split just two weeks after their non-legally binding wedding ceremony in Bora Bora. People Magazine quotes a source as saying that Eddie was chewing Tracey out at their wedding in front of guests and that it was embarrassing for everyone to witness. “Eddie’s mother felt Tracey was a gold digger, (but she ain’t messing with no broke, broke) says the friend - and Tracey’s mother felt Eddie wasn’t “good enough? for her daughter.”
Also quoteth People, “The mothers didn’t even want to sit next to each other - even to eat - and it led to both sides of the family squaring off.? Oh, that’s harsh. Lori and I have it easy because not only were our moms in a dance troupe together, we can’t get legally married! Wha-whaaaaa.
Now onto a quick Opps
It’s sad when young actors pass away. It’s even sadder when E! News spells a young actor’s name wrong who’s passed away. Good Job E!
Here at Trashy Celebs we love us some awards ceremonies. We get to make fun of the dresses, the awkward acceptance speeches and hope beyond hope that a gay red carpet host will grab someone’s boobies. But this year all the fun was sucked from our favorite snark sport as NBC broadcast the Golden Globes press conference.
Press Conference? Really? It’s kind of like the actual Golden Globes award ceremony was caught smoking and was sent to the principle’s office and its punishment is to have Billy Bush and Nancy O’Dell (who?) read off the list of winners.
Actually the only interesting part came when Nancy O’Dell betch slapped the producers of the show for randomly showing a clip of a 23 year-old dripping wet Angelina Jolie frolicking in a pool with an Access Hollywood producer. She basically said that the reason it’s being shown is because her producers are sexist pigs. Well maybe, but it’s a clip of Angelina Jolie in a pool wearing a see-through dress. Hello! Who wouldn’t want to see that? It’s a nice trip down memory lane when Angelina Jolie was insane and not a slightly hotter Mother Teresa.
Speaking of crazy, another thing we really miss about the globes is the fact that everyone in the audience is drinking during the whole thing. I myself had a bottle of wine before watching the press conference but it just didn’t make up for the fact that I couldn’t sit in my living room and watch famous people get stinking on national television.
Dear Writer’s strike. Please, please, please end before the Oscars. Bruce Vilanch needs a paycheck and I need to be entertained by Kathy Griffin, Ryan Seacrest or whoever E! plops on the red carpet arrival ceremony. It’s just not a new year without that.
Well that National Enquirer once again has the latest breaking news that you and your family need! to! know! Hang your butts off the edges of your seats and read this one!
Speaking of obsessive-compulsive, Posh admits that Soccer God hubby DAVID BECKHAM’s a neat-freak who just loves vacuuming their $22 million, 13,000-square-foot BevHills mansion – and he even (uh-oh!) organizes the food in their refrigerator by color. “David’s very tidy,? Posh told a reporter. “Even our fridge is color-coded. David does the vacuuming. He vacuums in straight lines…then if anyone walks on the carpet, he gets upset, so we have to walk on the other side.?
What the H-E- double hockey sticks prompted anyone to totally fabricate report on this bit of must-have news? This seems pretty mundane for a rag like the Enquirer. I mean, David Beckham vacuums the house? And likes to have things clean and organized? Simply shocking. (more…)
Boy George, the singer and DJ, has been charged with false imprisonment after allegedly chaining a male escort to a wall in his home.
Norwegian escort Auden Carlsen, 28, claims he was grabbed and chained to a wall by George and another man after the singer invited him back to his London flat to pose for photographs.
Scotland Yard said today that the 47-year-old singer, who was first arrested in April, had now been charged over an incident in his flat.
The singer, whose real name is George O’Dowd, was released on bail and ordered to attend Thames Magistrates Court next week.
Police said: “George O’Dowd, 47, a musician of Ravey Street, EC2, is charged with the false imprisonment of a 28-year-old in Ravey Street on April 28.
“He has been bailed to return before Thames Magistrates Court on November 22.”
What the hell is up with Boy George? Is he trying to compete with George Michael for the Fuck-Up of the Year Award? Can he just not get enough of the orange jumpsuit? And why the hell is is still wearing all that crap on his face? Boy George, you were all edgy in shit back in the 80s with the androgyny thing and the makeup and the ambiguous sexuality thing, but really, that time for all that has passed. At this point you should be more Elton John and less Britney Spears.
Come on now, George. You may now all there is to know about the crying game, but it sure seems you don’t know how to act right. Pull it together, release some monster of a comeback album, and then tell everyone to fuck off!
Current ER actor John Stamos had an all-too-close-for-comfort encounter with a female passenger aboard a flight from Chicago to Los Angeles on Monday. Reportedly a female passenger got her full house all up in Stamos’s business class (actually first class) seat and shook him awake.
The actor told the woman he was tired and wanted to go back to sleep and she reportedly shook him again. When Stamos got up to use the restroom, the woman said she would sit in his seat until he came back, but when Stamos tried to return to his seat, the woman reportedly hit him in the hand over and over. Flight attendants tried to intervene, and asked the crazy lady to return to her seat and Stamos switched seats himself but apparently that wasn’t enough. The woman began carrying on, making a scene and made additional threats to Uncle Jesse.
According to reports, police and FBI were waiting at LAX when the plane landed and took statements from all those involved, however, Stamos did not press charges. Aww forgiving Stamos. Also according to the source, the woman’s children were in Chicago filming scenes for “ER? as well. Interesting.
Hmm, besides from being a complete nut job, maybe the woman was trying to get revenge on Stamos for making such crappy TV as Jake in Progress, Thieves and playing the drums in the Kokomo video. (What the frack was that about?) Or possibly it was a cleverly disguised Jodie Sweetin attempting to make a name for herself beyond Pants Off Dance Off. The world will never know…or quickly forget this ever happened.
So in random hookup news, it was reported yesterday by numerous sources that Vanessa “Ugly Betty” Williams and Vince “Ugly Hair Line” Vaughn are now a hot couple. Williams is known for being kick-ass beautiful, that whole naked picture thing, acting and having a mildly successful singing career. Btw in regards to the title of this entry, I know her biggest song is called Save the Best for Last, but first that song got stuck in my head, then it was something by Anita Baker and now my brain is torturing me with Billy Ocean. You’re welcome.
Anyway, the two have been supposedly “sneaking around? Los Angeles together in hopes of avoiding the paparazzi. MediaTakeOut claims, “Vanessa’s really trying to keep this a secret … She feels that the press helped ruin her relationship with Rick [Fox], so she’s trying to keep what she has with Vince private.?
Back story - Williams second marriage was to NBA basketball player Rick Fox in 1999 and the two have a daughter, Sasha Gabriella (born May 2000). After The National Enquirer published pictures of Fox kissing another woman in mid-2004, Fox’s representative announced that the couple had been “headed toward divorce” for over a year. A few months later in August 2004, Fox filed for divorce. So that’s her past, and we all know the sorted Vince Vaughn - Jennifer Aniston dealio, but back to the whistle blowers, Media Take Out. Their report suggests that Vanessa and Vince have been sneaking around Tinseltown and they cite what they call a source that is one of their “most trusted.”
We’re not sure if we completely believe this story but we want to. They could be the new Ashton and Demi, JT and Cameron or just another case of super-fine woman carrying around a lot of eye baggage.
Sure famous people are used to having their pictures taken. But outside of red carpet moments, TMZ and rehab exits they tend to let their guard down. They should know that there will always be a schmo with a digital camera, cell phone or amazing watercolor skills there to capture all the fun stuff they might forget. Take Hugh Grant for example. The man was simply hanging out with a gaggle of St Andrews University freshman girls. Eating some pizza, drinkin’ a little Boone’s Farm or whatever freshman in Scotland drink, getting some underage lap dances, etc. But lo and behold, there’s an American in the mix who just happens to be on facebook and who also happens to like to post pictures on facebook. Opps. (more…)
Okay, I will admit that I am just a teensy bit buzzed on a couple glasses of Charles Shaw merlot (Two-buck Chuck for the Trader Joe’s-savvy among you) but even so I am still thinking that America needs to get a collective hold of itself and stop being so gosh-darned emotionally invested in the romantic relationships of Hollywood celebrities. Or New York celebrities. Or local community theater/local news broadcast celebrities. Come on people! Don’t you have your own relationships to worry about?
Ryan Gosling says his Notebook costar Rachel McAdams was “one of the great loves of my life” – but when the couple split several months ago, he ended up consoling fans.
“Women are mad at me,” Gosling, 26, tells GQ magazine in its November issue. “A girl came up to me on the street and she almost smacked me. Like, ‘How could you? How could you let a girl like that go?’”
Gosling, who has been mum about the split up until now, continues, “I feel like I want to give people hugs, they seem so sad. Rachel and I should be the ones getting hugs! Instead, we’re consoling everybody else.”
The actor and McAdams, 31, began dating shortly after wrapping the romantic film, which won them an MTV Movie Award for Best Kiss, but he says their relationship was not like the characters they portrayed.
“God bless The Notebook,” Gosling says. “It introduced me to one of the great loves of my life. But people do Rachel and me a disservice by assuming we were anything like the people in that movie. Rachel and my love story is a hell of a lot more romantic than that.”
Of their actual breakup, he will only say, “The only thing I remember is we both went down swingin’ and we called it a draw.”
Gosling, who was nominated for a Best Actor Oscar for his 2006 film Half Nelson, currently stars in the quirky comedy, Lars and the Real Girl.
There is just so much wrong with this I’m not sure where to start. First of all, these people are not your friends. You do not know them in real life. They are not calling you in the middle of the night when they are sad, they are not asking you to babysit them when they go out so they don’t end up drunk dialing the ex. They are not asking you to go with them for retail therapy. They are not asking you over to listen to Sade records and eat ice cream. They have actual friends for that. You do not know their lives!
And second of all, why is it that Mr. Gosling and Ms. McAdams are having to console YOU PEOPLE when THEY are the ones going through a breakup. That makes no sense! We’ve all been through breakups and what did we all want? We wanted our friends (emphasis on friends) to give us hugs and take us out and get us drunk and be our wingmen when we went out on the prowl again. Think about it: when your heart breaks you want someone to console YOU. So, even if in the furthest reaches of your imagination, you think that Gosling or McAdams are your friends and you have some right to comment on their relationship decisions, why would you make a comment that requires them to console you? They need your love and support right now. They need to you buy tickets to their movies! They need their space! They need you to stop questioning them on the street! (Unless you are hot and willing to be a rebound relationship.)
Besides, when most us break up with one of the “great loves of our lives,” we don’t have one of our first kisses on DVD for anyone to purchase at Best Buy, Target, WalMart, or Amazon.
While perusing the interwebs yesterday I found three uniquely interestingly trashy stories about crazy-hot mom, Angelina Jolie. Whacky tobaccy doesn’t do it for Ms. Thang - According to the Hollywood Rag, Angelina has enjoyed most drugs minus Twinkie-eating-inducing marijuana.
“I’ve done coke, heroin, ecstasy, LSD, everything, but the one that had the worst effect for me was pot. I felt silly and giggly and I hate feeling like that,” said the hot mom. But no worries for her wee-ones since that’s all in the past. She goes on to say
“I remember taking LSD before I went to Disneyland.
“I started thinking about Mickey Mouse being a short, middle-aged man in a costume who hates life. Those drugs can be dangerous if you don’t go into it positively – I gave them up long ago.”
Brad, don’t speak. Just stand there and look pretty
According to some claims, Angelina is none to happy about husband Brad Pitt’s lack of financial prowess. She also knows he’s a wee-bit sensitive about how pretty he is and therefore took the opportunity to sack him one in the nuts. From The Daily Mail:
Grazia reports that Angelina was overheard complaining about his lack of financial prowess, telling a male companion: “The reality is ‘we’re not a company together. Things should be separate. I think you know I make my own financial decisions.”
“Brad knows there are times he should just be quiet and look pretty. I won’t talk to Brad about this because you know how he is financially, which is stupid. Someone has to make the big decisions though. “He’ll put his money into things, [but it's] bizarre. It doesn’t always make sense to me.”
Reports of the alleged conversation, which is said to have taken place at New York’s Waldorf-Astoria Hotel on September 5, first surfaced in American publication In Touch.
Claims of the scathing attack are said to have upset Brad - who has tried to step away from his image as a pin-up in recent times - and left him feeling “emasculated.”
Yowch! This one we don’t quite believe
Angelina is apparently trying to shed her man-eater image. According to Contact Music.com Angelina told British Cosmopolitan that she’s only slept with four men in her life. Billy Bob Thorton - ew, first-husband Johnny Lee Miller - pretty, Brad Pitt - prettiest and an unnamed fellow. “I had only slept with four men in my life - and I married two of them,” Jolie supposedly says in the article. However we suspect she’s not including countless women, fruits, vegetables and household plants.
Celebrities aren’t perfect. In fact most times they’re drunken douche bags that say, do and perpetuate idiocy. Every so often (or everyday) some take anti-logic to a whole new level and Trashy Celebs is there to document it. Join us Monday through Friday for the realest celebrity gossip we’ve made up and you just might learn something about yourself.
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