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smokin' the pot

Hot Guy on CSI busted George Michael style.

Thursday, May 1st, 2008

Ha! You thought from that headline that CSI hottie Gary Dourdan was busted soliciting an undercover police officer in a public restroom, didn’t you? Admit it, that was your first thought. It’s okay.

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That wasn’t the case, but like Mr. Michael, Mr. Dourdan was found asleep in the driver’s side of his car, which was parked on the wrong side of the street and the officer who found him stated that he appeared disoriented and under the influence of something. Like most people, I think, would are found sleeping in their cars parked on the wrong side of the street. Also found in the car: cocaine, heroin, ecstasy, prescription drugs, and drug paraphernalia. EPIC FAIL.

I haven’t watched much CSI but I’m pretty sure that Dourdan’s character on the show had an addiction — I believe to gambling. A little CSI-rony at work!

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Snoop Dogg - The reluctant feminist?

Tuesday, March 18th, 2008

Usually when he’s talking about fatties, he means a big ol’ blunt, but Snoop Dogg’s guest entry on BET.com’s ‘Hip Hop Vs. America’ blog had a slight hint of feminism this week. According to the ‘Sensual Seduction’ rapper, its only good looking women that sell records. Sez Snoop:

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How many ugly women selling records? None! Only the pretty ones sell records. Beyonce, Mary J, Keyshia Cole, the ugly ones don’t sell. I ain’t gon say no names, but they don’t sell records. They just be singing their little hearts out, but they don’t get no sales, cause they ugly. Now, that’s my fault? I can see this on TV now: ‘Snoop Dogg called me, ugly’. You beautiful on the inside, baby. What I wanna say to go on top of that, to the chocolate women, the dark-skinned women, I love ya’ll. I got a chocolate daughter at home. I always tell her chocolate is the best thing in the world. Black is beautiful. I love dark-skinned women. That’s why my videos be having dark women in them. I always used to have light-skinned women. Look at it. Show them one of my videos.

Well, ok he may not be the hip-hop Kate Millett but at least in his rambling, he’s acknowledging a common truth. After all, Beyonce, and Rihanna are more likely to sell better than their less glamorous counter-parts like Jill Scott and India. Arie. The only problem is that Snoop appears to just be endorsing an industry-wide bias. His daughter may have darker skin and that’s cool but he’s not saying my daughter is a large woman or my daughter is homely therefore I’m working to change the industry.

Although counterpoint, I think I’d rather see someone who looks like Jada Pinkett fake-playing the saxaphone on a beach then shaking her rump than someone who looks like Mo’nique. So in conclusion, I’m doing nothing to help the cause of women in hip-hop videos but in protest I’ll totally stop watching 106 and Park (at least for a few days).

Backstreet Bro Busted Yo

Friday, February 22nd, 2008

Sometimes waiting until the last possible moment to write this blog pays off. According to TMZ Nick Carter’s baby bro, Aaron, was busted earlier today in Kimble County, Texas with over two ounces of marijuana! The blonde twink was pulled over on I-10 earlier today for speeding — and when authorities decided to search his vehicle, they found…surprise a big pile of doobie weighing in at least two ounces!

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Aaron, 20, is currently in jail until later today, when a judge will be present for his arraignment. More on this later today if we get around to reporting it. Writing so gets in the way of eating cheetos.

Michael Vick passes the dutchie and his career to the left

Thursday, September 27th, 2007

Ahh Michael Vick, we were going to leave you alone to await sentencing on federal dog fighting chargers but we just can’t quit you! A report reveled yesterday that the disgraced Atlanta Falcons quarterback tested positive for marijuana on September 13th. Talk about unlucky! The weed charge is a violation of the conditions of his release on the above charges that already puts his career and image in extreme jeopardy.
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To make matters worse, on the day of Vick’s guilty plea, U.S. District Judge Henry Hudson warned that he wouldn’t be amused by any additional trouble. Opps. After his positive test, the judge ordered Vick to submit to any method of testing, “for determining whether the defendant is using a prohibited substance.” The judge also ordered Vick to stay in his Virginia home with electronic monitoring every day from 10:00 PM to 6:00 AM; you know cause that’s when bad stuff happens.

As always, we turn to our pug and Michael Vick legal expert Muriel for additional analysis.

Muriel the Pug: THANK YOU TRASH TALKING MOM AMY! SO THE VICK HAS TURNED TO THE POT TO TRY AND EASE HIS TOURTURED SOUL FROM THE BARKING DOGS IN HIS HEAD. TO THAT I SAY “SUCK IT THE VICK.” YOU KNOW THERE ARE SOME DOGS IN THE WORLD THAT DO ENJOY A LITTLE WHACKY TOBBACY FROM TIME TO TIME BUT SOME OF THOSE DOGS WILL HAVE THE MUNCHIES NO MORE THANKS TO YOU.
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NOW FROM 10 TO 6 YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO MARK YOUR TERRITORY UNLESS YOU MARK YOUR OWN HOUSE WHICH IS ALREADY MARK. THEREFORE I URGE EVERY DOG, CAT AND EVEN SQUIRELL TO GO MARK THE HOUSE OF THE VICK DURING THAT TIME BECAUSE HE CANNOT LEAVE IT TO MAKE YOU FIGHT. AND EVEN IF HE CAN HE WILL BE TOO BAKED TO RUN FAST. THANK YOU FOR READING.

Thanks Muriel and look for further Michael Vick coverage right here as it comes in….or a day or two after that.

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