Trashy Celebs

Ok, so today we’ve heard some completely ridunculous reports from the world of sports. First up some tom-foolery goes terribly, terribly wrong at the pro bowl in Hawaii. Peyton Manning punks Denver Bronco’s QB Jay Cutler in a very bad way. Apparently PM decided to get some big ol’ players to pick up lil’ (or huge dude) diabetic player Cutler and toss him and his diabetes monitor in the swimming pool. Opps. Here’s how it went down, courtesy of the Denver Post:

The gang of Pro Bowl football players had been gathered around the tables, swapping stories, when suddenly the Broncos’ quarterback had 300-pound Nick Mangold pushing from one side, 310-pound Kris Dielman holding the other and his cell phone swindled into the hands of a coy Peyton Manning.

Cutler’s radar had gone up, but he never had a chance. Splash! “We gave him a Pro Bowl baptism,” said Dielman, the star offensive guard of the rival San Diego Chargers

Great fun. Big laughs. There was just one problem. Cutler is a Type 1 diabetic, and in his pocket was his blood-sugar monitor. “That was a prank where I thought we were smart enough to get the cellphone out of his pocket,” Dielman said. “But then, ‘Oops.’ ”

HaHa! So funny. In Manning’s defense, diabetes monitors do look like cellphones but D-Bags look as the same.

Also, we weren’t going to jump on the Michael Phelps bong hit band wagon, but this shit is getting ridiculous. Now not only is he under threat of getting arrested, Kellogg’s is dropping their sponsorship with him but now he’s being suspended for three months from swimming. C’mon people! He’s a famous 23 year old! What normal 23-year old doesn’t partake of the whacky tobaccky? (Minus TC’s Lori of course). Please law enforcement, cut the dude a break and go after the real criminals.

We here at Trashy Celebs are indeed fans of the Bravo show Top Chef. We like food and we like to cook and we like to sit down to dinner and watch the show. And sure, we like the host of the show, Padma Lakshmi, because she is beautiful (and how!) and she also likes food and she likes to talk about food. We also suspect that she must be stoned a lot to be able to eat all that food, but I digress.

But what we don’t understand about Padma is her thing for older men with rather large heads. I mean, she was married for years to Salman Rushdie (and I always figured that was for the excitement and danger, what with the fatwa and all). And now she is stepping out with billionaire Ted Forstman. The two claim they aren’t dating, but hey, she took him as her plus one to the Emmy awards (see picture above) and in Hollywood, that is the same as taking someone to your favorite cousin’s wedding. So yeah, totally doing it with another rich old guy. Go Padma!

A tour bus carrying Snoop Dogg and his crew was pulled over Thursday a few hours before a concert in Dallas, a spokesman for the Texas Department of Public Safety said. Two members of D-O-Double-G’s entourage were busted this during the stop but Da Man got off scott-free.

The bus was initially stopped for expired tabs but when officers boarded the bus, they sniffed what they thought was the Mary Jane. After investigating, they found two oz. of the green stuff and arrested two men who admitted it belonged to them.

Both men were taken to the Navarro County Jail and face fines of up to $2,000 and six months in jail if convicted.

I wonder if there was a quick scramble / negotiation when the bus was first pulled over like who had to take the blame or if that was already set. I’m thinking it was already set not like when my stepsister’s and I were playing a little too rough in the basement and put a hole in the wall.

From the time we heard my stepfather yell “What was that?” to the second later when he asked my mom “Did you hear that, what was that?” To the time my mom shrugged a bunch of times and suggested my stepfather go see what that was, we had to do a quick bit of conferencing as to who was going to take the blame. Ok, we may have had a bit more time than Snoop and his entourage did but I’m thinking they were a lot more organized since our negotiations pretty much went the way of “you pushed me! well it was your knee that made that hole. yeah but her head falling on me made it go through further!”

I have a feeling if Snoop’s crew was like that, that he’d have spent last night in jail and not preforming at a show in Dallas. This being said since the above argument was still going on when my stepfather came down the stairs and quickly resolved the situation by sending us to our room to spend the rest of the night thinking about what we did.

Barenaked Ladies singer, Steven J. Page, was arrested in central New York on Friday and was charged with fourth degree criminal possession of a controlled substance, that substance being tasty, tasty nose candy.

Cops in Manlius, NY say early last Friday morning officers saw a suspicious car with its doors open sitting outside an apartment building (which was where there used to live). While checking out the car, they wondered “Why did they pave the lawn? why did they change the locks?” and also observed a man and a woman sitting at a table with a powdery substance in front of them. Btw, they weren’t baking cookies. After a field test, the cops say the substance tested positive for cocaine.

The 38-year-old Page and a woman, have both been charged with felony possession of a controlled substance. Ford was also charged with pot possession.

Both Page and the woman have been released on $10,000 bail.

A rep for the band told TMZ “We can not comment because the matter is before the court. We are confident that out client Steven will be completely exonerated. Until that time, it is business as usual for the Barenaked Ladies.” So it’ll be back to eating twinkies and lying in bed just like Brian Wilson did.

Yes, I know that’s a lame joke but I wasn’t sure how else to end this one. Oh yeah, Drugs are bad m’kay.

You think not eating for 40 days alone on a isolated island sounds freaking awesome. At least according to Woody Harrelson. The Natural Born Kook revealed to a British magazine that he plans to live on a remote island and eat nothing for 40 days when he gets a break from work.

The actor thinks it would be pretty rad to see how the experience affects his brain. Hmm, I’ve done many things to see how they affect my brain but I know not eating even for a day turns me into a mondo pissant.

“I’ve always wanted to do it,” he says, “I know it’s going to be really hard. But can you imagine it? Eating nothing for 40 days? Swimming and surfing every day in a remote place? Where does the mind go?”

“I’ll tell ya where the mind goes,” said Harrelson’s brain while the actor went off to Jamba Juice for a peach-mango smoothie. “The mind goes off to freaking Hardees for a big-ass thick burger. This boy is crazy I tell ya. I’d much rather be rotting in prison with Wesley Snips than starving myself for no good reason.”

“Seriously,” said the brain “if anyone is listening can you at least toss me an ipod with like 75 rechargeable batteries? I’m going to go apeshit if I have to hear Woody deconstruct why his character was written off Will and Grace one more time.”

No word yet as to when Harrelson will begin his fast-fest but we’re guessing his schedule will free up sometime after the release of Surfer Dude.

Ha! You thought from that headline that CSI hottie Gary Dourdan was busted soliciting an undercover police officer in a public restroom, didn’t you? Admit it, that was your first thought. It’s okay.

That wasn’t the case, but like Mr. Michael, Mr. Dourdan was found asleep in the driver’s side of his car, which was parked on the wrong side of the street and the officer who found him stated that he appeared disoriented and under the influence of something. Like most people, I think, would are found sleeping in their cars parked on the wrong side of the street. Also found in the car: cocaine, heroin, ecstasy, prescription drugs, and drug paraphernalia. EPIC FAIL.

I haven’t watched much CSI but I’m pretty sure that Dourdan’s character on the show had an addiction — I believe to gambling. A little CSI-rony at work!

CSI, Gary Dourdan, George Michael

Usually when he’s talking about fatties, he means a big ol’ blunt, but Snoop Dogg’s guest entry on BET.com’s ‘Hip Hop Vs. America’ blog had a slight hint of feminism this week. According to the ‘Sensual Seduction’ rapper, its only good looking women that sell records. Sez Snoop:

How many ugly women selling records? None! Only the pretty ones sell records. Beyonce, Mary J, Keyshia Cole, the ugly ones don’t sell. I ain’t gon say no names, but they don’t sell records. They just be singing their little hearts out, but they don’t get no sales, cause they ugly. Now, that’s my fault? I can see this on TV now: ‘Snoop Dogg called me, ugly’. You beautiful on the inside, baby. What I wanna say to go on top of that, to the chocolate women, the dark-skinned women, I love ya’ll. I got a chocolate daughter at home. I always tell her chocolate is the best thing in the world. Black is beautiful. I love dark-skinned women. That’s why my videos be having dark women in them. I always used to have light-skinned women. Look at it. Show them one of my videos.

Well, ok he may not be the hip-hop Kate Millett but at least in his rambling, he’s acknowledging a common truth. After all, Beyonce, and Rihanna are more likely to sell better than their less glamorous counter-parts like Jill Scott and India. Arie. The only problem is that Snoop appears to just be endorsing an industry-wide bias. His daughter may have darker skin and that’s cool but he’s not saying my daughter is a large woman or my daughter is homely therefore I’m working to change the industry.

Although counterpoint, I think I’d rather see someone who looks like Jada Pinkett fake-playing the saxaphone on a beach then shaking her rump than someone who looks like Mo’nique. So in conclusion, I’m doing nothing to help the cause of women in hip-hop videos but in protest I’ll totally stop watching 106 and Park (at least for a few days).

Sometimes waiting until the last possible moment to write this blog pays off. According to TMZ Nick Carter’s baby bro, Aaron, was busted earlier today in Kimble County, Texas with over two ounces of marijuana! The blonde twink was pulled over on I-10 earlier today for speeding — and when authorities decided to search his vehicle, they found…surprise a big pile of doobie weighing in at least two ounces!

Aaron, 20, is currently in jail until later today, when a judge will be present for his arraignment. More on this later today if we get around to reporting it. Writing so gets in the way of eating cheetos.

Ahh Michael Vick, we were going to leave you alone to await sentencing on federal dog fighting chargers but we just can’t quit you! A report reveled yesterday that the disgraced Atlanta Falcons quarterback tested positive for marijuana on September 13th. Talk about unlucky! The weed charge is a violation of the conditions of his release on the above charges that already puts his career and image in extreme jeopardy.

To make matters worse, on the day of Vick’s guilty plea, U.S. District Judge Henry Hudson warned that he wouldn’t be amused by any additional trouble. Opps. After his positive test, the judge ordered Vick to submit to any method of testing, “for determining whether the defendant is using a prohibited substance.” The judge also ordered Vick to stay in his Virginia home with electronic monitoring every day from 10:00 PM to 6:00 AM; you know cause that’s when bad stuff happens.

As always, we turn to our pug and Michael Vick legal expert Muriel for additional analysis.

Muriel the Pug: THANK YOU TRASH TALKING MOM AMY! SO THE VICK HAS TURNED TO THE POT TO TRY AND EASE HIS TOURTURED SOUL FROM THE BARKING DOGS IN HIS HEAD. TO THAT I SAY “SUCK IT THE VICK.” YOU KNOW THERE ARE SOME DOGS IN THE WORLD THAT DO ENJOY A LITTLE WHACKY TOBBACY FROM TIME TO TIME BUT SOME OF THOSE DOGS WILL HAVE THE MUNCHIES NO MORE THANKS TO YOU.

NOW FROM 10 TO 6 YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO MARK YOUR TERRITORY UNLESS YOU MARK YOUR OWN HOUSE WHICH IS ALREADY MARK. THEREFORE I URGE EVERY DOG, CAT AND EVEN SQUIRELL TO GO MARK THE HOUSE OF THE VICK DURING THAT TIME BECAUSE HE CANNOT LEAVE IT TO MAKE YOU FIGHT. AND EVEN IF HE CAN HE WILL BE TOO BAKED TO RUN FAST. THANK YOU FOR READING.

Thanks Muriel and look for further Michael Vick coverage right here as it comes in….or a day or two after that.

Michael Vick, Marijuana, Dogs