Trashy Celebs

I left my home state just in time. Apparently Michael Jackson is looking to purchase property on Maryland’s Eastern Shore. The noseless wonder was touring homes for the day with his children in a rural peninsula but hasn’t made any definite decisions. The last I’d heard of Jackson he was working out a deal to perform nightly in Vegas, but I guess sand, surf and crustaceans trumps glitz, glamour and buffets.

Michael Jackson, Maryland, Crabs, Eastern Shore

Top Chef host and super hottie Padma Lakshmi and Satanic Verses author and super old guy Salman Rushdie are getting divorced. According to sources, the split was Lakshmi’s idea who is a full 24-years younger than Rushdie. This would be the fourth former Mrs. Salman Rushdie in the reclusive writer’s life.

Now, here at Trashy Celebs we do believe love is blind but we’re also really shallow and wonder how the fatwa this romance happened.

Theory Number One - Lakshmi has felt really bad since that whole Ayatollah Khomeini calling on Muslims to kill Rushdie in 1989 thing. So she decided to give it a go, take one for the team and marry the schlub.

Theory Number Two - Rushdie has incredible hook-ups. It’s been reported that Lakshmi is something of a pot-head and smoked often on the Top Chef set. She fell for Rushdie cause he’s got mad connections. We’re talking Cheech, Chong and Woody Harrelson combined.

Theory Number Three- Rushdie figured he’d tried the whole marriage thing with intellectuals and novelists, why not a Bollywood actress?

Theory Number Four - Can you think of a better way to get back at your parents then to marry Salman Rushdie?

Theory Number Five - Glitter co-star Mariah Carey triple-dog dared Lakshmi to marry Rushdie and Padma is one bitch who ain’t backin’ down from no triple-dog dare.

Salman Rushdie, Padma Lakshmi, Mariah Carey, Cheech and Chong, Woody Harrelson, The Satanic Verses, Top Chef

TMZ is reporting that (and it pains me to type this, it really does, but I will work through the pain, proving once again that we read the trash so you don’t have to) a few years ago (and TMZ swears this is from an “extremely well-placed source”) Scott Baio apparently knocked boots with Liza Minnelli.

Of course, maybe this is all just a publicity stunt related to his new show on VH-1, Scott Baio is 45 … and Single. According to the show’s synopsis, Baio is in the midst of a midlife crisis and with “nowhere else to turn,” is seeking help from a life-coach. And of course, VH-1 is there to record it all. Set your TiVos, folks. Maybe David Gest will show up as a guest star! (Gest-star? Ha? Nevermind.)

Scott Baio, Liza Minnelli, VH-1, Scott Baio is 45 … and Single, life coach, David Gest