Trashy Celebs

Wow. All I can say is wow. See if you can say any other word after taking a look at the first release from American Idol cast off (was it two seasons ago?) Sanjaya Malakar. I can’t decide if the album cover itself was inspired by my third grade Trapper Keeper notebook, Bob Marley’s vomit or the Saved by the Bell graphics.

Sanjaya, who would apparently dance to the music in his head rather than listen to his own album, is dropping this bomb on January 20th. If the cover itself doesn’t scare you away, take a listen to one of the tracks called Quintessential Lullaby. And if you’d prefer to dance to the music in your own head rather than listen to this track it’s probably for the best since it sounds like a plate of leftover Indian food gang banging a poor man’s Jesse Mccartney. Not pretty son.

When did Justin Timberlake join the LPGA?

Wow, I have to say, this, to me, is even creepier than finding out that Clay Aiken IS dating. Apparently the American Idol runner-up has no interest in dating or having sex and has basically shut down his sexual drive.

From New York Magazine:

Aiken says that it’s not just clubs but also bars he dislikes: “The only reason people go to bars is to get drunk and have sex. To me, bars are what hell is like.�?

He imagines his social life here will be “nonexistent, really. I’m not a nighttime person.�? He does not plan on dating, and he is not involved with anyone. “Heck, no,�? he says. “My dogs.�? He has never had a romantic relationship with anyone, unless you count the girls he took to dances back in high school in Raleigh. “I just don’t have an interest in … any of that at all. I have got too much on my plate,�? he says. “I’d rather focus on one thing and do that when I can devote time to it, and right now, I just don’t have any desire.�?

But Aiken is 29 years old and he is also a human. Surely he must have needs. Urges. He contemplates this in silence for 20 or 30 seconds. “Ah think maybe I don’t! I mean, not really. I’ve just kind of shut it off, maybe. Is that bad?�?

Now I would think that most people, at some point or another, have speculated about the sex lives of some celebrity or another. (In fact, I would think that some people are obsessed with it and some people have made a living writing about it on the internet or talking about it on television.) But I feel extremely creeped out when I read “Clay Aiken” and “sexual urges” in the same sentence. I have nothing against Aiken — I watched most of the season of American Idol that he was on and I think he’s a fine singer, even though he doesn’t sing the type of music I am into. And I think I have poked some fun at him in these pages with the occasional YouTube video.

But something about this story is just sort of creepy to me …. creepy and sad. I just makes me wonder if he is lonely or if the rumors that he trolls the internet for gay sex are true or if he really is just happy in his solitary life.

High School Musical sweethearts Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron are apparently at a crossroads in their “relationship.” According to Star magazine she is reportedly sick of him being such a metro-sissy and wants him to be a bit more butch.

A source said, “She wants to date a man, not a little girl. Vanessa told (Zac) to stop being such a sissy and freaking out when he gets blemishes.�?

According to Star Magazine, Zac threw a girl fit when he got a zit on his cheek. Vanessa wanted him to come to her little sister’s birthday party, but Zac was too concerned about the zit. “He just flipped out. He knew there were a bunch of girls at the party who worship him — and he didn’t want them all staring at his pimple.�? Apparently the situation was remedied when Hudgens lent him some concealer but she still felt weird about it.

Honey, honey, honey. This has got to set off some red flags for you. It’s not enough that he’s prettier than you could ever hope to be, has had most of his success come from musicals and got his career-defining role in a Disney movie. The dude ain’t straight. My advice is back off him for a bit. Give him time to think it through and wonder why he’s allowing all those guys to remove his boxers in the bathroom at LAX. Ok, I’m making that part up but I’ve seen enough fag hags in training get their hearts broken when they discover their perfect boyfriend is more of a grrrlfriend. Basically, you’re not going to change him. But that’s just my opinion.

Vanessa Hudgens, Zac Efron

Okay, so it seems that Criss Angel is some sort of wicked cool amazing magician because this past weekend he apparently turned Robin Leach (left) into Cameron Diaz.

Sources say that Angel and “Cameron Diaz” were seen dining together Monday night in Las Vegas before attending a performance of Cirque du Soleil’s Love, based on the songs of the Beatles. The two “met” the previous Saturday at the VH-1 Rock Honors (and what either of them were doing THERE, I do not know. I guess anyone who has slept with a musician or uh, listened to music, gets an invite to that one) before partying along with “Cameron Diaz’” friend and perpetual wingman, Drew Barrymore at the Jet Nightclub. Apparently Angel’s sorcery was so good even Barrymore didn’t recognize her best friend was actually the former host of television’s Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous.

At midnight Monday, Diaz turned back into Robin Leach, then went to the airport to fly back to Obscuretown.

Authorities are planning to contact Minnie Driver, previously linked with Angel, to see if she was actually dating him or if he really went on all those dates with a magically transformed Wayne Brady.

Criss Angel, Cameron Diaz, Robin Leach, Drew Barrymore, Mind Freak, Cirque du Soleil, VH-1 Rock Honors, Jet Nightclub, Minne Driver, Wayne Brady

Once upon a time Ozzy Osborne and Stephen Tyler were hardcore rockstars. Bastions of masculinity who fronted the pioneering bands Iron Maiden Black Sabbath and Aerosmith respectfully. Now they just look like girls.

Ozzy appeared at the 2007 VH-1 Rock Honors looking more like Sharon Osborne. Shown here with king of sucky pop (minus In the Air Tonight) Phil Collins, Ozzy looks like he got some guyliner tips from Pete Wentz.

Stephen Tyler, shown here with daughters Liv and Chelsea Tyler gave a concert at the grand opening of The Cove Atlantis on Paradise Island.

The star-studded weekend featured tons of parties and a 70’s concert by Tyler who not only looks like a girl but managed to pull off an outfit made of George Clinton’s old hair weaves.

Steven Tyler, Ozzy Osborne, Iron Maiden, Aerosmith, The Cove Paradise Island, Pete Wentz, George Clinton, hair weaves, guyliner, VH-1 Rock Honors