Trashy Celebs

From the Telegraph:

Boy George, the singer and DJ, has been charged with false imprisonment after allegedly chaining a male escort to a wall in his home.

Norwegian escort Auden Carlsen, 28, claims he was grabbed and chained to a wall by George and another man after the singer invited him back to his London flat to pose for photographs.

Scotland Yard said today that the 47-year-old singer, who was first arrested in April, had now been charged over an incident in his flat.

The singer, whose real name is George O’Dowd, was released on bail and ordered to attend Thames Magistrates Court next week.

Police said: “George O’Dowd, 47, a musician of Ravey Street, EC2, is charged with the false imprisonment of a 28-year-old in Ravey Street on April 28.

“He has been bailed to return before Thames Magistrates Court on November 22.”

What the hell is up with Boy George? Is he trying to compete with George Michael for the Fuck-Up of the Year Award? Can he just not get enough of the orange jumpsuit? And why the hell is is still wearing all that crap on his face? Boy George, you were all edgy in shit back in the 80s with the androgyny thing and the makeup and the ambiguous sexuality thing, but really, that time for all that has passed. At this point you should be more Elton John and less Britney Spears.

Come on now, George. You may now all there is to know about the crying game, but it sure seems you don’t know how to act right. Pull it together, release some monster of a comeback album, and then tell everyone to fuck off!

Boy George, George Michael, Culture Club, Britney Spears, The Crying Game

Star magazine has something, um, juicy? No? Maybe, uh, dampish? In-need-of-some-basting-gossip? Or is it dry-as-an-overcooked-turkey gossip? You decide.

Rebecca De Mornay Busted For DUI
Risky Business star Rebecca De Mornay was arrested on Oct. 30 by Beverly Hills police. TMZ reports that the cops pulled over De Mornay for an unknown traffic violation and they “immediately detected an odor of alcoholic beverages.” De Mornay then failed several field sobriety tests, police say, and her blood alcohol level was .09. She was taken into custody, cited and released.

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I am sure that you all are simply stunned to hear about yet another brush with violence and idiocy Kid Rock had this past weekend, this time at an Atlanta, GA Waffle House. Yes, a Waffle House. I don’t know what I can write about this that makes it more embarrassing or ridiculous than it already is. I mean, really, a brawl at a Waffle House? That is almost as embarrassing as a brawl with Tommy Lee at the 2007 MTV Video Music Awards.

ATLANTA, Georgia (AP) — Kid Rock was arrested early Sunday after a brawl at a restaurant and spent about 12 hours in jail before being released, police said.

Kid Rock and his entourage were involved in a brawl at an Atlanta restaurant early Sunday morning.

The musician stopped at the Waffle House restaurant shortly after 5 a.m. after his performance at The Tabernacle in Atlanta, authorities said.

“He and five members of his entourage were involved in a fight with a male customer inside the Waffle House,” said Mekka Parish, a spokeswoman for the DeKalb County Police Department.

The customer recognized a female with Kid Rock’s party and exchanged words with her, Parish said.

“It escalated to a physical altercation between Kid Rock and that male customer and moved outside to the parking lot,” she said. At some point the customer punched out a restaurant window, she said. Kid Rock left in his tour bus and was stopped by police about a mile from the restaurant, Parish said. The musician and five members of his entourage were taken into custody on a misdemeanor charge of simple battery.

The other customer was charged with criminal damage to property, a felony, Parish said. Kid Rock was released from the county jail on bond about 5 p.m. A telephone message left with Kid Rock’s publicist was not immediately returned.

Now, I know I live a very, very, very different lifestyle that rock and roll “stars” like Mr. Kid Rock. At 5:15 A.M., when he is apparently just getting around to having dinner, I am soundly sleeping, unless my cats are making some sort of unreasonable demand. I do not have an entourage, unless you count said cats and a small dog following me around at dinner time. I wash my hair occasionally. I do not wear wifebeaters unless it is to sleep in. And I was never married to Pamela Anderson, not even for 20 minutes in Vegas. But even though Mr. Rock and I are about the same age (shut up) I have to say, I feel much, much older than him.

But really, can I say that I might not have done the same thing? I do not know! Perhaps if I made a late night/early morning trip for some burgers and fries or chicken and waffles or scattered and smothered potatoes (yuummmm!) and someone insulted my female companion, I might start a brawl as well. That is, I might if I had an entourage to back me up, a big cushy tour bus to make my escape, and oh, yeah, number one album to promote. Rock N Roll Jesus, Kid Rock? Whatever.

Kid Rock, Pamela Anderson, Waffle House, Tommy Lee, MTV Video Music Awards, Kid Rock brawl Waffle House

In a Shameless ploy to keep up with the Joneses, the Joneses being the FOX network, ABC is sending former Lost star Michelle Rodriguez to jail. Not to be outdone by FOX’s 24 star Kiefer Sutherland’s spankin’ new jail time, Rodriguez has selflessly agreed to do time for the cause. The “straight” actress was sentenced Wednesday to at least 120 days in jail for violating probation in a DUI case.

“(She) admitted violating her probation by failing to provide proof of completion of her community service and for consuming alcohol three times while wearing an alcohol-monitoring device,” said the L.A. City Attorney’s office in a statement.

But we know the Girl Fight star was just taking one for the team to get on the good graces of ABC execs. She’s doing this knowing that this time won’t be a slap on the wrist neither. Superior Court Judge Daviann L. Mitchell ruled that the actress is not to be granted an early release, despite L.A.’s jail overcrowding. She was also ordered to complete 30 days of road clean-up duty.

If you recall, in May 2006, she served only four hours and 20 minutes of a two-month sentence at the Lynwood, Calif., jail for violating probation, stemming from a DUI arrest in Hawaii in December 2005.

The City Attorney’s office had alleged that Rodriguez turned in a false document showing that she completed one day of service on Sept. 25, court filings show. The actress later stated that she was in New York on that date. C’mon homes, she was acting like she was there, isn’t that good enough?

Rodriguez, must report to L.A. County jail by December 24, 2007. Merry F’in Xmas ABC!

Michelle Rodriguez, DUI, Kiefer Sutherland, Lost, 24, ABC, FOX

This past Friday night, Paris Hilton made an appearance on Late Show with David Letterman, and apparently there were some communication problems between her and her publicist, because she thought she was there to promote a new fragrance (smell like post-prison Paris!), a new clothing line, and a new movie. Letterman, it seems, felt her appearance was all so he could, rather relentlessly, question, annoy, and nitpick her about her time in prison. Check out the segment below. Be sure you watch until at least the 6:23 mark, when Paris actually pouts.

Apparently no one on Paris’ staff has actually taken the time to teach her how to deal with difficult interviews, because it really doesn’t seem like she handled this one very well. And c’mon, is her publicist eight years old? Because you’d have to be pretty young and new to show business to not realize that if you go on Letterman’s show just a couple of months after your prison scandal, he is indeed going to give you a hard time about it. That is just what Letterman does.

I do have to say, though, that is the first time I’ve heard him offer to buy someone a parakeet to make amends.

This just in: we here at Trashy Celebs have found an inside source which tells us that Hilton’s lawyers attempted to negotiate the length of her segment on the Late Show from the full nine minutes down to a much shorter four minutes, and time served on previous interviews. She was released by a stagehand, only to have a judge order her to return to the Ed Sullivan theatre and serve the full nine minutes as agreed by her agent and the Late Show producers.

Paris Hilton, David Letterman, Late Show, Late Show with David Letterman

50 Cent lost major homeboy points this weekend while hanging out with Paris Hilton in Las Vegas for the MTV Video Music Awards. Look for more coverage tomorrow morning as we not-so-live blog the VMA’s.

50 Cent, Paris Hilton, MTV Video Music Awards

Being a slow celeb gossip day we once again unleashed our pug Muriel to comment on the Michael Vick trial. Yesterday Vick pled guilty and threw himself at the wolves, aka a judge, and admitted to charges of dog fighting. Since Vick is such a public figure, Muriel thought it appropriate to get the reaction of another celebrity who’s in tune with the pulse of man and dog, Star Jones’s Maltese, Pinkie.

Muriel: THANK YOU VERY MUCH PINKIE FOR BEING WITH US TODAY

Pinkie: YOU ARE VERY MUCH WELCOME MURIEL THE PUG

M: SO WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF THE VICK?

P: I DO BELIEVE THE VICK IS A VERY LARGE BASTARD THAT I WOULD LIKE TO BITE

M: YES, WE HAVE ESTABLISHED THAT THIS IS THE WISH OF MANY A DOG AND THAT THE VICK WOULD BE TASTING OF BASTARD.

P: VERY TRUE MURIEL. COME TO THINK OF IT HE PROBABLY TASTES 100 TIMES WORSE THAN THE STAR JONES WHO OWNES ME.

M: IS THAT SO? WHAT DOES THE STAR JONES WHO OWNES YOU TASTE LIKE. I CAN ONLY IMAGINE SHE TASTES VERY MUCH OF BRIE THAT HAS BEEN LOST IN THE COUCH CUSHION FOR FIVE WEEKS.

P: NO SHE DOES NOT TASTE OF THAT BUT YOU ARE VERY CLOSE MURIEL. EVER SINCE HER DIET SHE TASTES LESS OF THE BRIE AND MORE OF THE LAUGHING COW VARIETY OF OLD CHEESE. IT IS STILL NOT PLEASENT TO BITE HER BUT THE AL REYNOLDS IS VERY PLESEANT TO BITE. IMAGINE IF CALVIN KLEIN AND LADY GODIVA HAD A GAY LOVE CHILD. THAT IS WHAT THE AL REYNOLDS TASTES LIKE. IF YOU’D LIKE WE CAN BOTH GO AND BITE HIM NOW.

M: THAT SOUNDS VERY LOVELY TO ME. THIS IS THE END OF THE INTERVIEW.

Ok, yeah. We learned our lesson about letting some dogs discuss major news stories. I guess we should cancel our special coverage of the nation’s obesity crisis with guest coverage by DMX’s dogs.

DMX. Michael Vick, Star Jones, Calvin Klein

We’ve found our Trashy Celeb Douche of the Week early this week! Professional Ray Charles wannabe Jamie Foxx has been busy douching up the place by defending professional dog abuser and football player, Michael Vick.

He says, “It’s a cultural thing, I think. Most brothers didn’t know that, you know. I used to see dogs fighting in the neighborhood all the time. I didn’t know that was Fed time. So, Mike probably just didn’t read his handbook on what not to do as a black star.

“I know that cruelty to animals is bad, but sometimes people shoot people and kill people and don’t get time.

“I think in this situation, he really didn’t know the extent of it, so I always give him the benefit of the doubt.”

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Whatta concert! First some overzealous female fan grabs his package and then someone accidentally takes his pinky ring. What’s with all the classless people going to Tim McGraw concerts these day?

But has anyone noticed that it seems like someone not only stole his ring, but his sleeves and shirt buttons as well. Security!

Tim McGraw, Faith Hill, Soul2Soul, Tim McGraw stolen ring

We at Trashy Celebs are completely disgusted at the Dog fighting allegations against Atlanta Falcon’s quarterback Michael Vick. If these abhorrent charges are true, we hope Vick is not only bared from playing in the NFL but has to bathe rabid feral cats as part of his community service. For further discussion on this topic, we turn today’s Trashy Celebs over to our dog and guest columnist Muriel.

My thoughts on the Michael Vick Debacle by Muriel the Pug
DO NOT LIKE VICK. VICK IS LARGE PIECE OF BASTARD PIE THAT I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE A BITE OF AND THEN POOP OUT SO AMY HAS TO PICK UP AND PUT IN TRASH RECEPTICLE BY PARK WE WALK IN. IF THERE ARE DOGS READING THIS THAT HAVE ACCESS TO VICK I WOULD ADVISE TO TRY AND TAKE BITE OF VICK THEN RUN VERY FAST BECAUSE VICK RUNS FAST TOO. IF YOU DO MANAGE TO TAKE BITE OF VICK, PLEASE EMAIL ME AT MURIELTHEPUG@GMAIL.COM AND TELL ME WHAT VICK TASTES LIKE. I IMAGINE HE TASTES LIKE A DOUCHE. THANK YOU FOR LISTENING. -MURIEL THE PUG

Michael Vick, Douche bag, pug, dog fighting

Who doesn’t like personalized advice broadcast on the internet? Well Girls Gone Wild creator Joe Francis for one. Candy Spelling, aka Tori’s Mom, has been spewing unsolicited advice to the imprisoned booby purveyor courtesy of TMZ.com. Below are portions of a letter dated May 19th

Dear Joe,

As the headlines about you changed — to scream “imprisoned” and “U.S. marshals” instead of “filmmaker” and “entrepreneur,” you respond by crying, wailing and seeing yourself as a victim. Bad move. Today’s headlines call you a “crybaby.”

You blew it, Joe. Instead of jumping from party to party, you’re being shuffled from one prison to another. And no one feels sorry for you.

Your world has changed, and you’re the poster boy for what can happen when boys go wild. Your every move and every emotion are still being reported, but not the way you want. It’s time for some dignity. At least it might prevent you from being forever defined as a crybaby.

Sincerely,

Candy Spelling

Apparently Francis was read the note over the phone and wrote a well thought out response calling attention to the growing national problem of animal hoarding. We grew tired halfway through reading it so here are some highlights:

Dear Candy:

I don’t know you, I have never met you and I don’t know anything about you. After reading your letter posted on the internet, my mental picture of you is of a lonely old woman living in a mansion in Holmby Hills with let’s say 300 cats jumping around, some in their own feces.

I have tried to think to myself what would compel a woman such as yourself to write a letter to someone they have never met? Even worse, you are making up your mind based on headlines. I can understand you writing Paris Hilton a letter out of care because as you said in your letter, you have known her most of her life. Then again, it’s sad and pathetic you had the audacity to post that letter on the internet instead of just sending it to Paris personally.

I have never played a victim but I have always been a fighter. I will ultimately prevail in the matters at hand but I am concerned that you will die a lonely and unfulfilled person playing with those cats and posting open letters to people you have never met on the internet.

Sincerely,

Joe Francis

Despite the harsh words, Candy has chosen to ignore Francis’s letter and impart her wisdom on future unsuspecting celebs. Check back for relationship advice to the reunited and it feels so good couple of Joey Buttafuoco and Amy Fisher along with Sotheby’s goldenshower boy Michael Jackson.

Joe Francis, Candy Spelling, animal hoarding, Joey Buttafuoco, Amy Fisher, Girls Gone Wild

Hey look, another irrelevant celebrity got arrested over the weekend. David Faustino, whose main claim to fame was as Bud Bundy on the FOX show Married with Children was arrested early Saturday for being drunk in public. The 33-year-old actor was taken into custody in New Smyrna Beach, Florida when he was minding his own business along with yelling profanities at his ex-wife in the middle of an intersection.

source
When searched police also found a bag containing about a gram of weed in Faustino’s pocket. He was booked and released to be forgotten until the question “Who played Al Bundy’s son?” comes up during a game of Trivia Pursuit - 90’s Edition.

David Faustino, arrested, drunk, Al Bundy, Bud Bundy, FOX, Married with Children, New Smyrna Beach, Florida, pot

Why should you just say no to drugs when you can choose to abuse them? Drugs are fun, they keep you thin, and can even make doing your taxes fun. So let’s explore recent drug fun with some super cool guys and gals.

First up is bug-eyed hottie Tom Sizemore. The Size-man was chillin’ and enjoying the warm California sun while off his nuts on crystal meth when some hateful policemen had to come and ruin the fun. Police found two bags of crystal and several pipes in his car but that was just for sharing. The more tweaked out people the better!

Across the Atlantic Too-Funky George Michael plead guilty yesterday to driving while under the influence of drugs.

The minor misunderstanding stems from an October 06 arrest of Michael while he took a little nap in his car, inconveniencing a few pesky drivers. Get with it people! He was being responsible by not driving while passed out. Give the man a break!

Let’s see what else. Oh yeah, our bud Lindsay isn’t backing down and being a follower by throwing those 12 steps out the window and doing coke in public. You blow, er go girl!

Tom Sizemore, crystal meth, George Michael, Lindsay Lohan, coke, cocaine, idiots

Century Regional Detention Facility plays host to the newly dubbed The Penal Life staring parole violating sweetheart Paris Hilton. For 45 fun-filled days, the hotel heiress will be cozying up to 2200 fellow female felons as she goes through Blackberry, Starbucks and Stoli withdraw.

Sources say there’ll be no Nicole Richie this time around but Paris will share her zany adventures with 27-year-old cellmate Shanisha Johnson of Southeast L.A. Johnson, a former teenage prostitute and petty thief, says she’s looking forward to bonding with Hilton in the small two-person room.

“Yeah, that bitch ain’t in West Hollywood no more,�? said Johnson, “she better not start whining about her jumpsuit neither cause somebody getting cut if I don’t get my beauty rest.�?

The color of the jumpsuit Johnson referred to will be determined according to where she and Hilton are housed. Designed to show off nothing, the four summer-ready colors are blue, brown, white and always stunning, orange.

Cameras will follow Hilton as she goes about her daily routine of cowering in the corner, using her one hour of recreation to shower, exercise or talk on the phone, cowering some more and having long discussions with a face she’s drawn on her left hand.

Filming on The Penal Life begins June 5, when Hilton is scheduled to report to Century Regional. No word yet on whether her Chihuahua, Tinkerbell will be along for the ride.

Paris Hilton, Jail, Tinkerbell, Nicole Richie, Century Regional Detention Facility, Fox