Trashy Celebs

So the entire state of California has my vote for D-Bag of the week. Well maybe not the entire state, just the 52% of it’s voting population who thinks gay people shouldn’t get married. And now Attorney Mathew D. Staver, who has argued before the California Supreme Court against same-sex marriage, said he’s confident that the state’s 18,000-plus gay marriages will be annulled. He intends to argue that “constitutional amendments are retroactive.” Biggest D-Bag of D-baggery.

But in good news, Shannon Minter, legal director for the National Center for Lesbian Rights, is taking this to court. “It would be almost unthinkable to retroactively take away somebody’s marriage status – it would be completely unprecedented and it almost defies description.”

It’s now up to the California Supreme Court which will hear the case. They previously voted 4-3 in favor of gay marriage.

Melissa Etheridge, upset over the passing of Prop 8 has vowed to withhold the buckets of money the state would have reaped from her taxes threw down on her website.

Okay, so I am taking that to mean I do not have to pay my state taxes because I am not a full citizen. I mean that would just be wrong, to make someone pay taxes and not give them the same rights, sounds sort of like that taxation without representation thing from the history books. Okay, cool I don’t mean to get too personal here but there is a lot I can do with the extra half a million dollars that I will be keeping instead of handing it over to the state of California. Oh, and I am sure Ellen will be a little excited to keep her bazillion bucks that she pays in taxes too. Wow, come to think of it, there are quite a few of us fortunate gay folks that will be having some extra cash this year. What recession? We’re gay!

The Trash Talkers don’t live in California, in fact our state legislated hate years before we moved here. But still we’re taking this as mean-spirited decision personally and really hope our friends on the left coast can remain happily married husbands.

Yesterday The California Supreme Court took a stance for equality and what’s right by overturning the archaic ban on gay marriage. Yes we called it archaic, we’re talking to you Missouri! The judges reaffirmed their belief that all residents of this state should be treated the same under the law. Go figure!

Now here’s some famous folks talking to The Advocate about this historic day

Ellen DeGeneres:
“I’m thrilled that the California supreme court overturned the ban on gay marriage. I can’t wait to get married. We all deserve the same rights, and I believe that someday we’ll look back on this and not allowing gays to marry will seem as absurd as not allowing women to vote.

P.S. I’m registered at Crate & Barrel.”

T.R. Knight:
Our ‘certain inalienable rights’ are protected today. It makes me proud to live in a country that works to correct its sins.”

Melissa Etheridge:
“I feel they have made an honest woman of me. What a wonderful blessing for us and the gay community. We’re moving forward. It makes me feel happy for the whole human race that we are finally getting out of our differences and coming together and we are putting this all behind us. It really is going to be the thing that we talk to our kids and our grandkids and say, ‘That was the olden days — wasn’t that ridiculous?’”

Marc Jacobs:
” Who to love and how to love should be up to the individual or the couple. Enough said!”

And what would gay stuff be without music? Just for good measure, here’s Commitment Ceremony by Julie Goldman and Kate McKinnon. (warning, this will get stuck in your head).

If you like jokes about gays, Asians, Project Runway and lots and lots of sex then you would have had a blast with us seeing Margaret Cho in Chicago this weekend. She’s not coming to too many more places but we highly encourage you to go see her if she’s coming anywhere remotely near you (we’re talking to you Anchorage!). We were slightly hesitant to see her this time around, as her last outing, Assassin was a bit political and preachy. But we’re happy to report that girl is back to her old form and is quite possibly dirtier than ever.

We really can’t repeat most of her jokes here….well we could but we’d probably butcher them and make them a lot less funny (plus Lori’s mom reads this site sometimes - Hi Jane!). In lieu of that we take no responsibility for things we find on you tube. And hmm, hmm, what’s this? Oh it just happens to be a little song Cho ended the show with. Enjoy!

Ok, Britney Spears hasn’t had the best week ever. She’s lost custody of the tots to baby daddy K-Fed, been spied driven’ when she shouldn’t be and has been kicked out of the restaurant at Chateau Marmont. That’s up there in a week of total suckyness. But there’s one thing in her life that doesn’t seem to be sucking and that’s the reason she’s famous - her music.

Sure her tunes aren’t works of great depth and reflection but us here at Trashy Celebs and a lot of other folks think her new single Gimmie More is banging! The video (minus the MTV Video Music Awards train wreck) should be coming soon, but until then check out the song itself.

And it’s not just us that love the song. Gimme More landed in the No. 1 position on Billboard’s Hot Digital Songs chart, having sold 179,000 downloads in its first week of release. That helped the song rocket up Billboard’s Hot 100 this week, jumping 65 slots to land at No. 3 on the overall pop chart, which includes digital downloads, CD sales and radio airplay. It’s also the number one downloaded song on iTunes, go figure.

However this jump isn’t a signal that Brit-Brit is totally back. According to Billboard’s associate director of charts Silvio Pietroluongo, it’s not uncommon for a single to move into the Top 10 on its Hot 100 based on digital sales alone.

So this isn’t Spear’s Umbrella, ella, ella, ay-ay which sold 277,000 copies in its debut week thanks to the beautiful Rihanna. But still Gimmie More is getting airplay on Top-40 stations, where it’s consistently been one of the top-15 performing songs. And it’s also Britney’s best showing on the Billboard chart since her breakthrough song, Baby One More Time, hit No. 1 in January 1999 (although that was back in the dark ages when digital sales weren’t measured).

So perk up Britney, stick to cabs and places that you aren’t banned from and maybe your career still has a chance.

Britney Spears, Gimmie More, Rihnna, Billboard, iTunes

ABC is totally gay. According to a study by the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) ABC features the most extensive portrayal of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender characters with shows like Brothers & Sisters and Ugly Betty. NBC, once home to Will & Grace, ranked fourth, and FOX scored lowest.

The first-ever GLAAD Network Responsibility Index was released yesterday which is GLAAD’s most extensive report to date of how networks handle the depiction of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people on TV.

“We continue to be incredibly underrepresented on the networks,” said GLAAD president Neil Giuliano. “The announced 2007 fall schedule does nothing to allay these concerns. The bright spot, however, is that the quality of LGBT images seems to be improving.”

With the popularity of ABC’s gay-friendly shows the other networks are excited to shoot out a steaming hot wad of programming destined to make a spunky splash this fall. Offerings include:

The Gay Office, NBC- In a spin-off to the highly successful Thursday night show, The Office, The Gay Office centers around a group of underpaid, overworked floral arrangers at a ProFlowers.com shipping site. Just outside of Saugatuck, Michigan The Gay Office is run by the pushy but slightly aloof Female to Male transsexual Michael. Will floppy haired slacker Jon get together with aspiring opera singer Bam? Only time will tell in this mockumentarily hilarious show.

Today in Madonna, FOX - Without a regular morning show, the FOX network knows how gays like to rise and shine. Now GLBT viewers can leave the house with confidence knowing exactly what their chosen queen is up to that day.

The Golden Girls, CBS - There’s nothing more gayrific than a gaggle of spunky old gals gabbin’ about guys over cheesecake. Taking ownership as the old people’s network, CBS has purchased all seven seasons of the show which ran on NBC from 1985-1992. Popular with senior citizens and gays alike, CBS is hoping to knock this one out of the park.

Hey is that Guy Gay?, VH-1 - Heterosexuals never tire of speculating over who’s gay and who’s straight. In this game of pomp and circumstance, contestants answer questions in a variety of categories including: Gay or European, Lesbian or Gym Teacher, Cher or Cher impersonator and Charles Nelson Reilly or Jim J. Bullock. Scott Ian, former member of thrash metal band, Anthrax hosts.

GLAAD, The Golden Girls, Madonna, The Office, NBC, FOX, CBS, ABC, VH-1

Us folks at Trashy Celebs, well me had a clashing of lives on Saturday as Jordan Knight of New Kids on the Block fame headlined St. Louis Gay Pride. The 14 year-old Amy remembers screaming through a packed arena of hormones as NKOTB pelvic thrusted their way through a back-up track-laced set. However, that was 1988. In 2007, Jordan Knight looks good for his age but was still doing New Kids Songs and performing the same pelvic thrusts with the same amount of fervor.

As I flashed back to the ear-piercing screams of pre-adolescence, I realized I was experiencing the ear-piercing screams of a nearby drag queen. I then wondered why in the world Jordan Knight was in front of me singing Please Don’t Girl at a gay pride event in a mid-sized mid-west town. But then my friend produced another beer for me and I let it go along with my 14 year-old hopes that I would be Mrs. Jordan Knight.

Jordan Knight, New Kids on the Block, NKOTB, St. Louis Gay Pride

A little something special for the Lord’s day. Also file under “Oh Lord, I can’t believe I used to have Kirk Cameron posters in my bedroom.”

Kirk Cameron, Bananas