Trashy Celebs

This isn’t a new couple alert or anything, but Britney Spears was seen out and about with Dallas Cowboy’s quarterback and new Trashy Celebs poster boy Tony Romo on Friday night. Brit-Brit was in the mood to yuck it up after a child-custody related court appearance on Friday and decided to call up her old pal Alli Sims.

Halloween party weekend waits for no one y’all! According to People Magazine:

The pop star, dressed in a masquerade ball mask, and Sims, first made a quick stop at the L.A. restaurant Ketchup where Romo was having dinner.

“[Spears] walked around the restaurant into the lounge where she met up with some people,” an observer tells PEOPLE. “She didn’t eat or drink …[It] seemed like she was rounding up people to go to [out]. She was very friendly and smiley, in and out.”

Another source says, “Alli was meeting up with Tony and his friends at Ketchup and Britney wanted to come along. Tony and Alli have been good friends. They’ve known each other for a little over a year. ”

Later, Romo met up with Sims, Spears and other pals at the Hollywood hotspot Les Deux where they hung out for a friendly low-key night upstairs.

Spears was “sitting with her friends and Tony. Everyone was just hanging out. Brit was upbeat, really seemed fine.”

Wow, this sounds like a pretty boring encounter so let’s make it more interesting. Back to our headline, Romo ended last season with one hell of an incredible fuck-up by flubbing the snap at the end of a playoff game against the Seattle Seahawks. While Spears allegedly cheated on mega-catch Justin Timberlake causing him to cry a river and move onto Cameron Diaz, Scarlett Johansson, Jessica Biel and a whole lot of other hotties.

If Spears and Romo were to get together we could create all kinds of fun nicknames like Bromo, Titney and Rears. Also I just don’t like the Cowboys. This year they’re doing pretty well with a record of 6-1. I think throwing Britney into the mix would bring Romo’s game to new heights of shitousity thus throwing a major wrench in any playoff hopes.

We really doubt this train wreck has any hopes of gracing the pages of TMZ. But on the upside, since his recent break-up with Carrie Underwood, Romo sill has Terrel Owens and Spears still has a whole bunch of crazy.

Life missing a big spoonful of crunkyness? Head on over to Britney Spears Watch to find out what our little toxic tramp is up to this week.

Tony Romo, Britney Spears, Cameron Diaz, Dallas Cowboys, Scarlett Johansson, Jessica Biel, Alli Sims

A video of Prince Harry has surfaced that was probably never meant to see the light of day. Taken on a recent trip to Namibia with his girlfriend Chelsy Davy and some friends, Harry is seen snorting vodka and cavorting drunkenly. One lucky friend even appears to be on the receiving end of a princely nipple lick. Sweet!

We haven’t been able to locate the clip online but according to News of the World in the video, pals cheer loudly as Harry slugs a bottle cap of vodka, swills it around his mouth, spits it back into the cap and then snorts it up his nose.

Seconds later, Harry—a 2nd Lieutenant in the Blue and Royals (British Army) —closes his eyes and shakes his head as the alcohol, shooting straight into his bloodstream, takes effect.

Apparently experts are concerned because vodka snorting is not the safest of past times: “Professor Ian Gilmore, president of the Royal College of Physicians, said: ‘There are all sorts of additives that could cause an allergic reaction which could damage the lungs, mucus membranes of the nose and trachea. It could kill.’ David Nott, who runs the Manor Clinic rehab centre and is a member of the Federation of Drug and Alcohol Professionals, said: ‘Anybody acting in this manner continually will do severe damage, which could be deadly.’ Frank Soodeen from Alcohol Concern added: ‘By by-passing the liver, you run the risk of inflaming the brain and possibly causing long-term damage. It’s a practice to be avoided at all costs. It’s very irresponsible.’”

So yeah, I can see how it’s bad that this kind of behavior by a public figure gets out and how kids who never thought to snort vodka might give it a go (shit, even in my self-destructive late teens I never thought of that), but we’re more concerned about something else. We’re worried about that level of straight-up douchey gay for play behavior. I mean come on if you’re going to put wine glasses on your man-tits and lick your friend’s nipples, at least set your Myspace page to private or don’t take pictures at all. At the very least, don’t trust a friend who was encouraging you to snort booze to not sell the pics to the press. Still, we’re happy we saw these pics because it totally takes some of the mystique of being a Brit-Royal away. We wonder what Helen F’in Mirren would say about this?

Prince Harry, Chelsy Davy, Snorting Vodka

Ok, Britney Spears hasn’t had the best week ever. She’s lost custody of the tots to baby daddy K-Fed, been spied driven’ when she shouldn’t be and has been kicked out of the restaurant at Chateau Marmont. That’s up there in a week of total suckyness. But there’s one thing in her life that doesn’t seem to be sucking and that’s the reason she’s famous - her music.

Sure her tunes aren’t works of great depth and reflection but us here at Trashy Celebs and a lot of other folks think her new single Gimmie More is banging! The video (minus the MTV Video Music Awards train wreck) should be coming soon, but until then check out the song itself.

And it’s not just us that love the song. Gimme More landed in the No. 1 position on Billboard’s Hot Digital Songs chart, having sold 179,000 downloads in its first week of release. That helped the song rocket up Billboard’s Hot 100 this week, jumping 65 slots to land at No. 3 on the overall pop chart, which includes digital downloads, CD sales and radio airplay. It’s also the number one downloaded song on iTunes, go figure.

However this jump isn’t a signal that Brit-Brit is totally back. According to Billboard’s associate director of charts Silvio Pietroluongo, it’s not uncommon for a single to move into the Top 10 on its Hot 100 based on digital sales alone.

So this isn’t Spear’s Umbrella, ella, ella, ay-ay which sold 277,000 copies in its debut week thanks to the beautiful Rihanna. But still Gimmie More is getting airplay on Top-40 stations, where it’s consistently been one of the top-15 performing songs. And it’s also Britney’s best showing on the Billboard chart since her breakthrough song, Baby One More Time, hit No. 1 in January 1999 (although that was back in the dark ages when digital sales weren’t measured).

So perk up Britney, stick to cabs and places that you aren’t banned from and maybe your career still has a chance.

Britney Spears, Gimmie More, Rihnna, Billboard, iTunes

We here at the Trash Talkin’ Rodeo love us some Margaret Cho. We learned some of our best trash talkin’ tricks from her. And you’ve got to love anyone with the stones to get up and do something like this:

Margaret Cho has bigger balls than some rugby players I know (and not just the female rugby players.)

Margaret Cho, pasties

While perusing the interwebs yesterday I found three uniquely interestingly trashy stories about crazy-hot mom, Angelina Jolie.

Whacky tobaccy doesn’t do it for Ms. Thang - According to the Hollywood Rag, Angelina has enjoyed most drugs minus Twinkie-eating-inducing marijuana.
“I’ve done coke, heroin, ecstasy, LSD, everything, but the one that had the worst effect for me was pot. I felt silly and giggly and I hate feeling like that,” said the hot mom. But no worries for her wee-ones since that’s all in the past. She goes on to say

“I remember taking LSD before I went to Disneyland.
“I started thinking about Mickey Mouse being a short, middle-aged man in a costume who hates life. Those drugs can be dangerous if you don’t go into it positively – I gave them up long ago.”

Brad, don’t speak. Just stand there and look pretty

According to some claims, Angelina is none to happy about husband Brad Pitt’s lack of financial prowess. She also knows he’s a wee-bit sensitive about how pretty he is and therefore took the opportunity to sack him one in the nuts. From The Daily Mail:

Grazia reports that Angelina was overheard complaining about his lack of financial prowess, telling a male companion: “The reality is ‘we’re not a company together. Things should be separate. I think you know I make my own financial decisions.”

“Brad knows there are times he should just be quiet and look pretty. I won’t talk to Brad about this because you know how he is financially, which is stupid. Someone has to make the big decisions though. “He’ll put his money into things, [but it's] bizarre. It doesn’t always make sense to me.”

Reports of the alleged conversation, which is said to have taken place at New York’s Waldorf-Astoria Hotel on September 5, first surfaced in American publication In Touch.

Claims of the scathing attack are said to have upset Brad - who has tried to step away from his image as a pin-up in recent times - and left him feeling “emasculated.”

Yowch!

This one we don’t quite believe

Angelina is apparently trying to shed her man-eater image. According to Contact Music.com Angelina told British Cosmopolitan that she’s only slept with four men in her life. Billy Bob Thorton - ew, first-husband Johnny Lee Miller - pretty, Brad Pitt - prettiest and an unnamed fellow. “I had only slept with four men in my life - and I married two of them,” Jolie supposedly says in the article. However we suspect she’s not including countless women, fruits, vegetables and household plants.

Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, Billy Bob Thorton, Johnny Lee Miller, drugs, Mickey Mouse, Disneyland

Apparently Terrance Howard has more issues with women then I had with the movie Crash. According to a recent Elle magazine article the Oscar-nominated actor is a wee-bit shy of just having issues and careening forward to I Hate Women-land. One of his pet peeves:

Toilet paper - and no baby wipes - in the bathroom. If they’re using dry paper, they aren’t washing all of themselves. It’s just unclean. So if I go in a woman’s house and see the toilet paper there, I’ll explain this. And if she doesn’t make the adjustment to baby wipes, I’ll know she’s not completely clean.

And another gem:

I like women who look like me. Generally, you’re attracted to women who look like you, because the most beautiful thing in nature is your own reflection.

Also according to the Jezebel.com article we got our info from, Mr. Howard has said some pretty crappy things about women in the past. Hmm, not liking to be touched, liking women who look like him and being a neat freak. We won’t start the gay rumors but the humongous ass-hats rumors don’t need anyone to start them.

Terrence Howard, Crash, Hustle & Flow

So novelist Elizabeth Dewberry recently left her older, somewhat successful husband, Pulitzer prize winner Robert Olen Butler for even older and mega rich Ted Turner. Whatever. People leave their spouses for older, richer people (or younger, hotter people) all the damn time. What makes this interesting is that Robert Olen Butler turned his considerable writing skills to crafting an email to “friends and colleagues” explaining overexplaining the situation. Here’s my favorite part:

Further, Elizabeth has never been able to step out of the shadow of the Pulitzer. As you know-and she knows-I have been an avid admirer and supporter of her work. Everyone has heard me proclaim my sincere high regard for her as an artist. I often did this publicly. But she has published two brilliant novels since she’s been with me and neither has gotten anywhere near the recognition that they richly deserve. That made it harder and harder for her to live with the ongoing praise and opportunity that flows to a Pulitzer winner. Not because of jealousy. She has always been very happy for me. But the multitude of small reflections of regard that came my way inevitably threw a spotlight on the absence of those expressions of regard for her. She felt as if she was failing as a writer.

Do you all smell the “condescending” and the “delusion” puddling at your feet? Dude, she didn’t leave you because of your goddamn Pulitzer. She left you because she had a shot at Ted Turner, a freakin’ billionaire. Damn. Of course, in a few years Ted Turner himself may send out a similar note, stating that Dewberry left him because she felt inferior to both his big bags of money and his big-breasted girlfriends.

You can read the full email, along with lots of follow up, at Gawker.

Ted Turner, Elizabeth Dewberry, Robert Olen Butler, Robert Olen Butler email, Gawker

Whatta concert! First some overzealous female fan grabs his package and then someone accidentally takes his pinky ring. What’s with all the classless people going to Tim McGraw concerts these day?

But has anyone noticed that it seems like someone not only stole his ring, but his sleeves and shirt buttons as well. Security!

Tim McGraw, Faith Hill, Soul2Soul, Tim McGraw stolen ring

Country singer Tim McGraw was born with balls, but his wife, singer Faith Hill, grew a set herself this weekend and called out a fan she spotted getting a little too handsy with her husband during a show on their Soul2Soul tour. Apparently the fan was cupping more than her beer after McGraw approached the crowd to greet some of his fans. Hill practically peed all over McCraw (and his balls) as she got ALL up in the fan’s grill:

Somebody needs to teach you some class, my friend. You don’t go grabbin’ somebody else’s - somebody’s husband’s balls, you understand me? That’s very disrespectful.

The best part? Hill never stops dancing during that little speech. That’s professionalism. I would point out that maybe someone also needs to teach Faith Hill some class, as yelling “balls” into a microphone in an arena that isn’t currently hosting a sporting event is itself not the epitome of class. But I won’t do that because after watching the video, I’m actually afraid Faith Hill might cut me.

Video below, provided by the always reliable TMZ.

Faith Hill, Tim McGraw, Soul2Soul, somebody’s husband’s balls

We at Trashy Celebs are completely disgusted at the Dog fighting allegations against Atlanta Falcon’s quarterback Michael Vick. If these abhorrent charges are true, we hope Vick is not only bared from playing in the NFL but has to bathe rabid feral cats as part of his community service. For further discussion on this topic, we turn today’s Trashy Celebs over to our dog and guest columnist Muriel.

My thoughts on the Michael Vick Debacle by Muriel the Pug
DO NOT LIKE VICK. VICK IS LARGE PIECE OF BASTARD PIE THAT I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE A BITE OF AND THEN POOP OUT SO AMY HAS TO PICK UP AND PUT IN TRASH RECEPTICLE BY PARK WE WALK IN. IF THERE ARE DOGS READING THIS THAT HAVE ACCESS TO VICK I WOULD ADVISE TO TRY AND TAKE BITE OF VICK THEN RUN VERY FAST BECAUSE VICK RUNS FAST TOO. IF YOU DO MANAGE TO TAKE BITE OF VICK, PLEASE EMAIL ME AT MURIELTHEPUG@GMAIL.COM AND TELL ME WHAT VICK TASTES LIKE. I IMAGINE HE TASTES LIKE A DOUCHE. THANK YOU FOR LISTENING. -MURIEL THE PUG

Michael Vick, Douche bag, pug, dog fighting

Not much to say on this one. The amazonian ex-wife of Sly Stallone has checked into rehab for treatment of an undisclosed condition, her manager confirmed Thursday. We never would have guessed she had a drug/alcohol/substance abuse problem since the last time we saw Nielsen she was making out with Flava Flav on VH-1. Looks like rehab isn’t just for twenty-somethings - suck it Lohan!

Brigitte Nielsen, rehab, Flava Flav, VH-1

I left my home state just in time. Apparently Michael Jackson is looking to purchase property on Maryland’s Eastern Shore. The noseless wonder was touring homes for the day with his children in a rural peninsula but hasn’t made any definite decisions. The last I’d heard of Jackson he was working out a deal to perform nightly in Vegas, but I guess sand, surf and crustaceans trumps glitz, glamour and buffets.

Michael Jackson, Maryland, Crabs, Eastern Shore

Okay, so rock stars aren’t always known for stability and pristine mental health, especially rock stars whose biggest hit involves refusing to be admitted to a rehabilitation facility (no! no! no!). But check out this excerpt from a Spin magazine interview with Winehouse, as reprinted by US Magazine:

In the new issue of Spin, Winehouse, 23, is in rare form (which is not that rare for her), letting the naughty words fly, taking “long bathroom breaks� during the photo shoot, and later checking her nose in a shard of broken mirror.

Then, during the photo shoot, “she stands against the wall, flashes popping as she gently carves ‘I LOVE BLAKE’ onto her bare stomach with that shard of mirror,” in honor of husband Blake Fielder-Civil.

But she seems aware that she’s a bit nutso. Perhaps a little too aware?

On why she writes:
“I write songs because I’m f—ked in the head and need to get something good out of something bad…I thought, ‘F—k, I’m going to die if I don’t write down the way I feel. I’m going to f—king do myself in.’ It’s nothing spectacular.�

And one more interesting quote. If she really isn’t interested in attention, why does she do all this crazy stuff?

On being a celebrity:
“I don’t care. I don’t care about any of this, and I don’t have much of an opinion of myself. I don’t think people care about me, and I’m not in this to be a f—king role model…I don’t think I’m such an amazing person who needs to be written about. And if I did, I’d be a f—king c—t, wouldn’t I?�

Don’t get me wrong. I really like her album, Back to Black. I think it’s great. But I have to admit, I am a little scared of Amy Winehouse herself, if for no other reason than she can out-curse me by a long shot. Damn!

Amy Winehouse, US Magazine, Spin, Amy Winehouse Spin interview, Back to Black

Another one of those tips your mother never taught you:

Guys, see what we have to go through?

Tyra Banks, public bathrooms, peeing

Where does the National Enquirer get this stuff?

SIMON COWELL BATHES IN TOMATO SOUP

SIMON COWELL – seems the “Idolâ€? genius spends hours soaking naked in a fab Fountain of Youth concoction he calls “Tomate Cerise!” Simon orders Italian cherry tomatoes flown in from Europe, smashes them to pulp in a big bucket – then pours the bright-red goop into a bathtub filled with Perrier water!

Simon says the tomato enzymes not only eradicate age spots and keep the skin looking young – they even jazz up the metabolism.

My Spy says his housekeepers aren’t happy about swabbing pureed goo out of the master tub, and keep muttering stuff like “damn tomato soup!�

After I read this all I could think about was that episode of the Brady Bunch where they had to wash Tiger in tomato juice after he tangled with a skunk. (I think that happened on the Brady Bunch. If it didn’t, it should have, as the whole “pet or child has run-in with skunk, bathes in tomato juice” was a staple in American television comedy scripts for a while.)

Like much of what I read in the Enquirer, I originally wrote this Simon-tomato soup story off as bullshit. But then I saw the above picture ….. that lapel pin? Looks sort of like a tomato, doesn’t it? Hmmmm. Suddenly, I crave a grilled cheese sandwich.

Simon Cowell, American Idol, tomato soup, Brady Bunch, skunks, grilled cheese sandwich