Trashy Celebs

Perez Hilton has some “unsubstantiated and possibly true” information about the new Madonna album, including sixteen potential tracks:

01. Sleep Deprivation
02. Turn It Up
03. Going Down
04. Little Thang (feat Justin Timberlake)
05. It’s The Beat
06. Tight Fit
07. Black
08. Off The Hook (feat Timbaland)
09. Candy Store (feat Pharrell)
10. Eleven Minutes
11. Do I Care
12. Freelancer.34
13. U n M
14. Starlight
15. Hit It Hard
16. Got This Down Right

The Trash Talkers are beside ourselves waiting for this new album. We can’t wait! In the meantime, we’ll just listen to Confessions On a Dance Floor until our downstairs neighbors start pounding on the ceiling with a broom. Let’s do some dancin’!

Madonna, Perez Hilton, Justin Timberlake, Pharrell, Timbaland

Scissor Sisters frontman Jake Shears and his boyfriend, a Yale art student known only as “Chris” are engaged, according to the Sunday Mirror as reported on GaySocialites.com.

Here at the Trash Talkin’ Rodeo we’ve made it no secret that we love us some Scissor Sisters. We’d like to wish Jake and his betrothed all the best wishes in the world.

And we hope you choose Ana Matronic as your best man!

Jake Shears, Scissor Sisters, Ana Matronic, gay marriage, celebrity marriage, Jake Shears engaged

Okay, so we’ve all seen “Lazy Sunday,” “Roy Rules,” “Dick in a Box” and that one with Natalie Portman rapping. But I think the following is one of the most underrated and most overlooked of the SNL Digital Shorts: “Andy Pops Into Frame.”

Personally, I just find this hysterical, from the yellow t-shirt that says “ANDY,” to Will Forte’s goofy grin, to that moment when Samberg pulls the gun and forces Forte out of the frame. And that little piece of music that gets into your brain for days. I wonder if it was written specifically for this short?

Anyway, good stuff. Watch it ten or twenty times — you won’t regret it!

Andy Samberg, Will Forte, Saturday Night Live, Lazy Sunday, Roy Rules, Digital Short, Andy Pops Into Frame

Madonna performed a four song set as the finale of the global Live Earth concert this past July 7. Researchers expect that the energy produced from the collective excitement, adoration, and sheer fabulousness of London’s gay community is expected to power that entire city for at least another three weeks.

Take that, solar power!

Madonna, Live Earth, London, solar power, gay power

But our Moms were so cool back in the day.

Trash Talker Moms, Fosse

Apparently, the Trash Talker’s idol and all around awesome celebrity Madonna is set to make a guest appearance on the Fox animated staple, The Simpsons.

The Simpsons used to be must-see, ignore-the-phone television for me, but for the past several years I haven’t been tuning in. A Madonna appearance just might change that, as I do love all things Madonna (the crappy “Beautiful Stranger” notwithstanding.) The big question is, what would an animated Madonna look like? Which one of the many, many looks she has had will Matt Groening decide to use? Has Madonna already gone online to create her own Simpsons avatar?

Personally, I hope they go with the look in the picture above, hat, boots, and riding crop included. Ay caramba, indeed!

Madonna, The Simpsons, Matt Groening, Confessions on a Dance Floor, Simpsons avatar

Pearl is back! And she’s kickin’ ass and takin’ names!

Will Ferrell, Pearl, Funny or Die, Good Cop Baby Cop, The Landlord

David Chase, you fucker, we hate how much you make us love you.

Basically, the Trash Talkers reaction to the series finale of The Sopranos went something like this:

Screen goes black and the soundtrack cuts off the Journey song “Don’t Stop Believin’” at “Don’t Stop …”

Lori & Amy: silence
silence
silence
silence
Lori: David Chase is a FUCKER!

But after Amy gave me a strong drink and an extra portion of dessert, I calmed down enough to add that David Chase, while still a fucker, is absolutely brilliant. The show couldn’t have ended any other way and I think Chase planned it from the start. Like the song says Tony goes “on and on and on and on” always looking over his shoulder for the hitman or the indictment. And sure, lots of people feel that David Chase left this all open for a movie in the future, but I bet that won’t happen … like Tony watching for the hit, we will always be watching for the Sopranos movie.

(And to think, Chase found the perfect song to end his series in the corniest Journey song ever recorded.)

In the first episode of season six, in a dream sequence, Carmela tells Adriana “I worry all the time,” and here at the ending, she’s still worried all the time. At some point Tony said to Dr. Melfi, “Is this all there is?” and here at the ending, we see that yes, this is all there is. And I myself wondered why Chase left the relationship with Dr. Melfi, one of, if not the most significant relationship in the series, with such an abrupt and unsatisfying ending. (She’s not even in the finale!) But yes, that’s how it is in “real life.”

Well played, Chase. Well played. You got me good. You gave the audience the ending that was right, even if it wasn’t the ending we thought we wanted. You are going to get a lot of crap for this ending but you don’t deserve it (and I honestly don’t think you care.) You are fucking brilliant and if I knew your email address I would write and tell you so.

But you are still a fucker.

The Sopranos, Sopranos Series Finale, HBO, David Chase, Tony Soprano, James Gandolfini, Carmella Soprano, Edie Falco, Meadow Soprano, AJ Soprano

Are you sick of Paris Hilton? I am sick of Paris Hilton. But Paris, jail, Lindsay, rehab, and Britney seem to be all that’s happening in the world of celebrities these days. I don’t know about you, but I am ready for something else, something refreshing, something to cleanse the palate a bit.

So here is a picture of the stunningly beautiful Kate Winslet:

Ahh, isn’t that better? I admire Kate because she is beautiful but doesn’t seem caught up on that “Holllywood-ideal” of skinny as a stick and bitchy. I admire her because she is a good actress and because she seems like someone, if you saw her on the street and said hello, would smile and say hello back and be very gracious. She seems like … well, a regular human being.

Personally, I think that picture is just fine on it’s own, but if you want a little news with your beauty, know that Kate is currently filming Revolutionary Road with her Titanic costar, Leonardo DiCaprio.

Kate, we here at Trashy Celebs think you are the best. Call us! Come hang out! I can make really good guacamole!

P.S. And if any of you are still interested in Paris, they’ve got you covered over at Paris Hilton Watch. Clicky!

Kate Winslet, Leonardo DiCaprio, Revolutionary Road, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, rehab

Love. Them. Both.

Will Ferrell, Sacha Baron Cohen, MTV Movie Awards, Borat, Talladega Nights, Ricky Bobby

US Weekly is reporting that Natalie Portman and Andy Samberg are a couple. I personally find this adorable and can’t wait to see what sort of funny little cute babies they might have.

I can only hope that they fell in love during her hosting stint on Saturday Night Live, because how awesome would it be for them to tell their future children and grandchildren that this is what brought them together:

The only thing better would be if Natalie would change her name to Roy, so that they could show this video at their wedding:

PEACE!

Natalie Portman, Andy Samberg, Saturday Night Live, SNL, Roy Rules

Taking a moment from the Trashy Celeb gossip to wish a Very Happy Birthday to my girlfriend and partner in Trash Talking, Amy who was pushed from her mother’s vagina 33 years ago today.

Trashy Celebs who share a birthday with Amy include: Joan Collins, Drew Carey, Karen Duffy, Phil Selway (of Radiohead), Matt Flynn (of Maroon 5), Jewel (who lived in a van), Rosemary Clooney, Kelly Monaco, Ken Jennings (who won a bazillion dollars on Jeopardy!), and Marvin Hagler.

Happy Birthday, baby!

Happy Birthday, Celebrity Birthday, Joan Collins, Drew Carey, Karen Duffy, Phil Selway, Radiohead, Matt Flynn, Maroon 5, Jewel, Rosemary Clooney, Kelly Monaco, Ken Jennings, Marvin Hagler

Here at the Trash Talking Rodeo, we love Madonna. WE LOVE MADONNA and we are not kidding around. I personally have been a fan since 1984 when I used to listen to the Like a Virgin album on my Walkman while I mowed my grandma’s lawn. And to this day, I still listen to Madonna on my iPod while I’m sitting at my desk at my office job.

So we want to tell you all that for a limited time, you can download a new Madonna song, “Hey You,” exclusively from MSN. The song was produced by Pharrell Williams and Madonna will perform it as one of the headliners of the 24-hour, seven continent “Live Earth” concert series coming up in July. And even if you are too late to get it for free, go ahead and buy it because 25 cents from each of the first one million downloads will go to the Alliance for Climate Protection in support of Live Earth.

I’ll admit, it’s not my favorite Madonna song ever (that would be “Secret”) but it’s a good song for a good cause from a great artist! Check it out!

Madonna, MSN, Live Earth, Hey You, Secret, Alliance for Climate Protection, Like a Virgin

Every morning, I get to have a little conversation with Johnny Depp both before and after I take a shower. This is because my girlfriend and fellow Trash Talker, Amy, when she was but a wee Trash Talker, stood in line for many, many hours at a car show in order to meet, shake hands with, and get an autographed picture of Mr. Depp. That picture, from his 21 Jump Street, days is now framed and proudly hangs in our bathroom, where the glass sometimes gets flicked with tiny little sprays of toothpaste.

So tomorrow morning I can congratulate Johnny, who is apparently planning to marry longtime partner Vanessa Paradis in a quiet ceremony this summer in the South of France, where they have a home.

I hope they are able to have that quiet ceremony, without helicopters hovering or fans dressed as pirates popping out of the bushes. As for the Trash Talkers, we’ll just say “Mazel Tov” to the happy couple and clean the toothpaste off the picture in the bathroom.

Edited to add: E! News is reporting this rumor is NOT true. So all you Johnny Depp lovers still have a shot! I’m leaving this entry up, however, because I like the story about the picture hanging in my bathroom.

Johnny Depp, Vanessa Paradis, marriage, South of France, 21 Jump Street

Those funny dudes over at Funny or Die (the website that brought you the Will Ferrell “Landlord” video) have done it again. This time, Brooke Shields gets a little gangsta on the playground.

Now if she would only put that pimp hand down on Tom Cruise!

Funny or Die, Brooke Shields, Check Yourself, Wreck Yourself, Pimp Hand, Playground, Tom Cruise