Trashy Celebs

Normally I am not all shocked and appalled by stupid celebrity behavior and stupid celebrities who need to get over their damn selves. I just laugh, unless it is something truly criminal or immoral. But here I am breaking the norm a bit because I am taking this one a little bit personally. Little Disney-bot Miley Cyrus and her alter-ego Hannah Montana have taken a swipe (albeit a weak, ineffectual one) at my favorite band, the supremely awesome Radiohead.

Apparently, Radiohead is Hannah Montana’s favorite band (doubtful) and the reason she “loves music” (that’s a laugh) is now NOT her favorite band anymore and she is TOTALLY going to tell her Dad they were mean to her and he is going to give them ALL achy-breaky hearts! So there!

Now how did this all come about? Well if you watched the Grammy Awards (and who didn’t?) then you know that both Miley (yawn) and Radiohead (sweet). And apparently Miley wanted to meet the band so she “extended an invitation.” And since Radiohead probably doesn’t know/care who the hell she is and they were there to, y’know, put on an awesome and creative performance for the audience both in the theater and watching on television, well, they choose to decline. And Miley (Bruce Jenner) turned into Hannah (The Hulk) and now she is trying to SMASH!

“The reason I’m in this business is to make people happy,” she said, implying that Radiohead aren’t. She added, “I left ’cause I was so upset. I wasn’t going to watch. Stinkin’ Radiohead! I’m gonna ruin them, I’m going to tell everyone.”

I’m sure Radiohead are all tuning up their resumes in anticipation of their careers ending any day now. Is Starbucks hiring?

While promoting her new fragrance “Velvet Hour,” Kate Moss revealed that her 5-year-old daughter loves the smell of gasoline. Apparently little Lila Grace loves it so much that whenever she and mum are at the gas station, Kate leaves the car door open so that Lila can get her fix. I guess sniffing things runs in the Moss family. Ooh burn!

Kate went on to say: “I’ve heard it is one of the most preferred scents in the world — maybe that’s something to study for my next fragrance.”

When I was a kid I used to sniff my dog’s tail and our orange shag carpet but then my mom made me stop cause it’s freaking nasty.

Really? Really Kate Moss? While you’re at it why not create au de Glue in paper bag and parfume de Sharpie Magic Marker? Yes, Gas smells kinda good in a weird way btw, it kills brain cells ya Mo-Mo!

Singer, spoken-word artist, and talk show host Henry Rollins had a few things to say about America’s Trainwreck Sweetheart Britney Spears.

Britney’s vocal recording ’secret’
By BILL HARRIS - Sun Media

Singer/spoken-word artist Henry Rollins had an interesting take on Britney Spears during a recent interview with Sun Media.

Rollins was talking about how it always is a good idea to befriend the sound engineers at any music studio, because they’re the ones with the best stories.

“They have the black chick come in and sing, and Britney sings over it, and they mix them together,” said Rollins, who has his own talk show on IFC.

“(Britney) gets her phrasing basically from this older R&B woman. I found that out talking to an engineer.

“Britney apparently isn’t actually the worst singer, she just has no feel. So they bring in this older black woman who sings the song, then Britney sings to it, and they kind of make a mix of the two voices, and that’s what you hear on the records.”

Well, thank you Henry Rollins. You know, I’ve always admired Rollins and his work and his talk show (the few times I have seen it) and thought he was an intelligent person. But apparently he thinks I am a big flippin’ idiot. OF COURSE Britney Spears’ voice is engineered all to hell. Anyone who has ever heard her perform live (especially post-meltdown) knows that. And anyone who remembers that classic MTV moment when she performed with Madonna and Christina Aguilera (and who can see past the Madonna-Britney kiss) knows that of the three, Christina is the one with the voice and Madonna is the one with the the vision and the poise … and Britney? Well, she just has the boobs. And the Catholic schoolgirl outfit from the “Hit Me Baby One More Time” video.

I’m just surprised that Rollins is spending any time at all even thinking about Britney Spears. My prediction? They will be married in six months.

Here’s a little gem from last Friday’s Miss Teen USA pageant. Based on this performance, the Trash Talkers have no doubt that Miss South Caroline is a future Trashy Celeb, possibly on the Fox News Network.

But don’t you worry about her. She was still third runner up!

Miss Teen USA, Miss Teen USA 2007, Miss South Carolina 2007, Caitlin Upton

British celebrity and all-around hottie David Beckham removed his shirt this weekend, much to the delight of, well, just about everyone.

Beckham apparently was supposed to play in a game of some sort. Or something. Reports said that the shirt he removed was some sort of sport jersey and that the disrobing took place in some sort of arena or near a playing field, but most witnesses, after viewing the rippling, naked upper body of the baseball golfer cricket player OH WHATEVER THE HELL HE DOES didn’t remember the specifics of the situation.

“Uh, yeah, I think he was supposed to play a game or something tonight but then he hurt his foot or whatever and couldn’t and lots of people were disappointed,” said one 20-something women, who craned her neck to look over toward the shirtless Beckham, who appeared to be watching a group of men kick something around. “But then he took off his shirt and …. OH WOW! DID YOU SEE THAT HE JUST STRETCHED WITH HIS ARMS OVER HIS HEAD.” The woman then pushed us aside and started snapping pictures with her camera phone.

After 90 minutes or so, Beckham put his shirt back on and left the area. An announcement of some sort regarding some group called the “L.A. Galaxy” and “lose 1-0″ was made, and everyone left. Many older gentlemen were overheard on cell phones making calls to personal trainers.

Even a small group of women with mullet hairstyles and fanny packs were seen looking a bit red-faced and fanning themselves as they walked to their Subarus.

David Beckham, L.A. Galaxy, soccer, David Beckham shirtless

This date in today July 11, 2007 - Dane Cook still not funny.

Dane Cook, unfunny

David Hyde Pierce quietly came out of the closet today, surprising absolutely no one, including my grandmother, The Girl With No Gaydar, and various members of Buddhist monasteries.

With no fanfare, an AP article on Pierce casually mentioned his partner, Brian Hargrove. Personally, I think that is the best way to come out … no big press conference, no press release, no “statements” read by agents or PR people. Because if you don’t make a big deal out of your sexuality, then generally, no one else will either.

Except, of course, trashy celebrity bloggers!!!!

David Hyde Pierce, Fraiser, Brian Hargrove, coming out, the girl with no gaydar

After his botched handling of a snap that ended the Dallas Cowboy’s season, quarterback Tony Romo has been in a serious funk. The 27 year-old has tried everything from Zoloft to Jack Daniels to a Rosemary Mint Bath while listening to the soothing vocal styling of Jeffrey Osborne. However nothing has been able to lift his spirits until last Saturday night at his 27th birthday celebration in Dallas.

Apparently after sipping champagne from “c’mon everyone knows�? girlfriend, Carrie Underwood, Romo was as giddy as spoiled bitch on My Super Sweet 16. Ghostbar in Dallas was the scene of the seen on display as 2005 American Idol winner did a shit job of squashing the couple rumors, but a great job of impersonating a champagne flute.

image source

Tony Romo, Jeffrey Osborne, Carrie Underwood, My Super Sweet 16, Dallas Cowboys, Ghostbar

Things got a bit heated on Tuesday night’s American Idol when Simon Cowell alluded to host Ryan Seacrest’s sexual orientation. Seacrest was interviewing contestant Melina Doolittle and things went downhill quickly.

Ryan Seacrest: “What do you consider the hardest part of this contest?”

Melinda Doolittle: “Wow. I would have to say the high heels and these dresses. I like my tennis shoes and my sweat pants. I’m sorry.”

Seacrest: “Simon, any advice on the high heels?”

Cowell: “You should know, Ryan.”

Seacrest: “Stay out of my closet, Simon.”

Cowell: “Well, come out.”

This ‘no duh’ remark was somehow met by ohhs and gasps from the audience but Cowell wasn’t finished.

Cowell: “I’d also like to tell everyone who’s watching that I’m British, Paula’s a drunk, and Randy is in fact black. Oh yes the sky is blue, Grant is buried in Grant’s tomb and when I was in Ryan Seacrest’s closet I found the head of Brian Dunkelman next to a pair of Manolo Blahniks from two seasons ago.�?

Being the professional host he is, Seacrest laughed off the remarks and proceeded to introduce a four-minute clip of the contestants drinking Coke and washing a GM vehicle. Calls to the LAPD regarding the head of Dunkelman went unreturned, as did calls to Seacrest about the outdated footwear.