Trashy Celebs

Martha down y’all. Martha Stewart had Snoop Dogg on her show yesterday and of course hilarity ensued. Not only does Martha throw down some serious Snoop ebonics but she and the D O double G share a moment around a paring knife. Aww, they both “shanked” someone in prison.

What you may not have know about Ryan Reynolds: apparently he is a runner. A long-distance runner, in fact, one of those crazy-ass people who runs marathons. I don’t even like to drive 26 miles, let alone run that far. But he ran in the New York City Marathon this past weekend, and apparently finished in a respectable three hours and 50 minutes. Or I guess that is respectable. What do I know?

I have a good friend that is a distance runner and she ran a half marathon this weekend. The Trash Talkers met up with her for breakfast after her run (which I slept through, because I am not that good of a friend) and she said it hurt more than anything else she’s done in her life. And I could only yell THEN WHY DIDN’T YOU STOP? If something hurts that bad, STOP. I mean, the only think I can think of that you can’t stop doing even though it hurts more than anything is childbirth, and even then you can get an epidural if you play your cards right. The only thing my friend got from her ordeal is the complete justification of ordering a huge friggin’ breakfast. I had some 2% organic chocolate milk and felt guilty about that.

But back to Ryan Reynolds …. what the news isn’t telling you is that the only reason he finished and with such a good time is because Alanis Morissette was chasing him. ::rimshot:: Okay, that joke was a lot funnier in my head. So congrats to Ryan Reynolds for running a marathon and congrats to my friend JKo for both running the half marathon and eating the hell out of that stack of pumpkin pancakes. The Trash Talkers are proud of you.

I wish Lil’ Wayne would have said something sooner, because I could have planned a baby shower! But I guess he is being modest and humble and doesn’t want to brag a lot … until gets the chance to make a quiet announcement while onstage at the BET Hip-Hop awards. Lil’ Wayne is going to be a Lil’ Baby Daddy soon! According to People magazine, Lil’ Lil’ Wayne will be born any day now, probably on a Tuesday, as that is the day that new albums are released. Hey, I don’t know who Lil’ Wayne’s Lil’ Baby Mama is, but wouldn’t it be awesome if it was Lil’ Mama herself? Lil’ Wayne and Lil’ Mama Havin’ a Lil’ Baby? Totally would be a new reality show on VH-1, don’t you think? “My onesie be cool, my onesie be poppin’!”

So the world can finally stop obsessing about Star Jones and her homosexual ex-husband, Al Reynolds, and start obsessing about Star Jones and her new inappropriate boyfriend, chef Herb Wilson.

I don’t really know if Herb Wilson (and isn’t “Herb” a great name for a chef?) is really an inappropriate boyfriend, because I don’t know anything about him. He seems less gay than Al Reynolds (but really, the love child of Elton John and George Michael seems less gay than Al Reynolds, so, whatever) so that bodes well for the future of their relationship. I just have to wonder if it’s a good idea for a woman with a well-documented weight problem to be dating a man who makes his career from food. Is Star Jones that self-destructive? First, a marriage to a probably-gay man that was doomed to fail. Now a relationship with someone cooking all the time …. causing the failure of her gastric bypass surgery? I am worried about you Star Jones.

Actually my favorite part of this whole story is that it is like Alanis Morissette puked her own special brand of irony all over it. And Alanis Morissette irony is my favorite kind of irony. Dontcha think?