And I shall (not) show you his … mini-me.
Oh, you bitches better count your lucky stars, because Trash Talker Lori had something really, really special planned for you today. Very special indeed. I’m sure it is something that would have changed your life forever, and by that, I mean you would have gone to school to learn a completely different language, preferably one using a completely different alphabet, so that you would never again have to read or hear words in the English language. What could I have written to inspire such a dramatic change in the lives of all Trashy Celebs readers?
I was going to live blog the Verne Troyner Sex Tape.
Just in case you skipped that last sentence, I was going to LIVE BLOG THE VERNE TROYNER SEX TAPE. Yes, that Verne Troyner.
You see, I came across a link to the Mini-Me sex tape and had enough grotesque curiosity to want to check it out. We aren’t allowed to post naughty things on this site, but I thought, since I can’t provide the video for those with the same grotesque curiosity, I could at least describe it! It couldn’t be more of a train wreck than the VMAs! But after clicking on the site and waiting and waiting and waiting I was taken to another page requesting $9.95 (for a week’s access to the video!) Why would I need a week’s access, unless it was to use the video as a sort of diet plan so I would either have no appetite or immediately throw up anything I had just eaten? OMG! Verne Troyner totally wants you to be either anorexic or bulimic!
Eating disorders aside, I think it’s best that I wasn’t able to live blog this total crime against all that is good and decent in the word of internet celebrity pornography. What’s next? A Dan Rather/Helen Thomas sex tape? For reals, people, this insanity has got to stop.
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