7 boner-related comments about the 60th Annual Emmy Awards Show
Amy: Oprah wants to give television a handjob.
Lori: Why do the Emmys have such a boner for Jeremy Piven?
Amy: Tina Fey’s dress gave me a huge boner.
Lori: Zeljko Ivaneck is my new porn name. And Damages sounds like a porno anyway.
(Non-boner related: I love Ricky Gervais, in what could have been an actual funny moment, if it hadn’t had gone on so long. Also, the best part of the whole Emmy show is when they read the nominees for best writing for a variety, music, or comedy show. And if you didn’t see it, you are a dicksmack. Got the boner reference in!)
Amy: Josh Groban singing 30 television theme songs? How about 30 reasons why this will suck balls.
Lori: David Boreanaz looks like someone kicked him in the nuts. And he is on a show called Bones. These boner jokes write themselves.
Amy: This show is so boring that it has become boner-shrinking rather than boner-joke inducing.
Lori: I thought we would have written like 50 boner-related jokes by now.
Amy: I’d like to thank the Academy for making this show too lame even to make fun of with juvenile penis-related humor.
Lori: I would also like to thank our satellite television provider for sending us jumpy service rendering this show mostly unbearable to watch. Glad we are getting our gazillion dollars per month worth!
To all you readers who tuned in for the boner-related jokes, we are sorry we let you down. We will start writing now to bring you new and improved boner-related jokes for the 2009 Emmy Awards next year!
Leave a Reply